Monday Morning Musings

Posted on December 27, 2021 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

Covid Christmas 2

 

“It’s just another Covid Christmas,

Sure wish that I had missed it,

Cause that’s not a fun day,

Make you wanna run day,

It’s just another Covid Christmas.”

Sung to the melody of  Manic Monday

We have endured our second Covid Christmas in a row.

It sucks.

I know that that’s not the politest thing to say but I know damn well that this is exactly what many of you are thinking, if not actually saying out loud. Of course, we all made the best of it. What choice did we have? We still managed to eat and drink to excess, were able to spend some time with family, and even found a few presents under the tree. My tree is so small and my friends so few, that I used the dining table! I’m joking of course… about friends, that is. I received Christmas greetings from all over the world.

“So, Len. Please tell us what Santa delivered to the dining table, other than your usual lump of coal?”

Without fail, some kind soul usually drops off a six pack of beer. You can imagine how thrilled I was to find a 5-pack of rapid tests. It appears that this is a “must have” gift and very hard to come by unless you want to be extorted by a scumbag online seller. If you happen to run low during the holidays, stop by my apartment. I’ll only charge you $10 per testing kit!

I also received a box of 50 masks, a handful of plastic shields, and a case of hand sanitizer. The most beautiful and heartfelt gift was a framed copy of my QR code. For the man who has everything.

I was surprised to receive greetings from the Queen. Personally, I would have preferred an autographed picture of Freddy Mercury. I also received robocalls from the P.M., Drs. Bonnie Henry and Robert Strang and a shocking, surreal call from Anthony Faucci.Dr. Dr. Isaac By Gosh and I had a lovely chat about epidemiology on Messenger video. One of my most cherished gifts was a 10- year subscription to MMWR. It is an epidemiology journal with weekly reports on morbidity and mortality. Riveting stuff.

My absolute favorite gift? I was humbled to receive an autographed T-shirt from former Nova Scotia Premier Stephen MacNeil. “Stay the f..k home, Len.” Touching.

What? There’s more? Sound like an old K-tel advertisement.

I received some gifts that can only be described as unique. I received a pair of tickets to see my beloved Habs play the Leafs. Montreal has been playing so poorly and with several players in Covid protocol, that mercifully, I don’t have to travel to Montreal. I was given a special dispensation from the Chief Medical Officer allowing me to stand three feet away from my girlfriend, and touch fingertips, a whopping 50% reduction. Oops. Great idea Dr. Stranglove, but as of this writing I don’t have a girlfriend.

I have always wanted to continue my education. After all, grade three was the three most difficult years I spent in school. I just heard that St.F.X is offering a brand new Masters program. Some kind soul offered me free tuition to take the newly minted Masters in Event Planning. The course will be conducted online. (Sorry to my loyal readers who are not from Antigonish. This is very much a local story, but it did manage to spread to other parts of the country).

“Wow, Len! You scored big this Christmas. Your apartment must be a fun place to hang out with the abundance of Covid supplies.”

I will be hosting a Loser’s Ball on New Years Eve. Come one. Come all.

It’s Monday.

“Its just another manic Monday,

I wish it was Sunday,

Cause that’s my fun day,

My “I don’t have to run” day,

It’s just another manic Monday.”

Manic Monday – The Bangles

Have a great week.

 

 

 

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Monday Morning Musings

Posted on December 20, 2021 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

 

It’s a girl! No, It’s a boy! This puppy has an identity crisis

 

“I’ll tell you, life ain’t easy for a boy named Sue.”

A Boy Named Sue – Johnny Cash

Having a newborn for any young couple is one of the most exciting times in their lives. It is a time full of wonder and sleepless nights. Every day brings joy, triumphs and tribulations, and yes, surprises.

Charles always wanted a dog but not just any dog. He wanted a husky, the legendary dogs of Canada’s north. They are beautiful animals by all accounts, and he was prepared to do anything to acquire one including temporarily moving to Northern Quebec. This sounds like an extreme measure just to get a dog but as fate would have it, Charles’ girlfriend was working in the Arctic. He would get to spend time with Catherine, experience Inuit culture, see the Northern Lights, and get a puppy. He even managed to get a few weeks of work at the local school.

Charles made arrangements to get his new dog a few days prior to heading back down south for Christmas. It was very dark when he was accompanied by the brother of the owner of the dogs to a small shed. The shed didn’t have power. It should be known that male huskies are not normally sold as they often become part of a dogsled team, but this didn’t seem to be an issue in this case because the litter was almost exclusively female. The puppies were elusive as they scurried around the shed but eventually Charles extricated one and gleefully headed back to his apartment.

The bonding was immediate. Naku (not her real name to protect her dignity), loved Charles and the affection was mutual. She was so content with her new owner that there was nary a whimper at nighttime. Being up all night with a new puppy is not uncommon, along with cleaning up “accidents”. This gal seemed perfect in every way. Charles could not have been any happier. In order to fly back down south, Charles had to contact the airline to make sure that space was available. One quirk of northern airlines is that they only allow a certain number of dogs on any given flight.

So proud was he of his new acquisition that Charles took Naku to school on his last day in the village for a showing. Needless to say, he was the most popular guy at school. The kids couldn’t get enough of the puppy, and he proudly passed it around. The only thing missing with this new father was cigars. Two young girls asked Charles if they could come over that evening, the night before his flight, to see the dog one last time, so charmed were they by this tiny mutt.

Around 7:30 p.m. there was a knock on the door. As promised, Minnie and Samantha were standing there waiting for this last chance to see Naku. The girls seemed puzzled when Charles continuously called Naku she. It took them exactly 30 seconds to enlighten Charles that he was the proud owner of a male dog. There was an audible gasp. “How could this be possible,” wondered Charles. It appeared that in the two days that he had owned her (him), he had never done a close inspection to determine sexual orientation.

Charles immediately placed a call to the brother of the owner of the litter.

“Hey Jupi (not his real name to protect his dignity!). I think we have a situation. Catherine and I think Naku is a boy.”

“If it may be a male dog, that’s fine,” replied Jupi.

“Oh perfect. Fine for me.”

“Hey, um, Charles. Yes, we do have a situation. LOL. I just spoke to my bro. That is the only male dog, and the rest are female. I’m so sorry dude.”

“Oh!”

“I’m sorry man. I know you connected well with this dog. He (Jupi’s brother) said he doesn’t mind to trade the puppy tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. Same place.” (note that this would be after sunrise making the identification of the sex somewhat easier).

“Yes, but it’s ok. I understand completely. I’ll be there tomorrow morning.”

Now, the “next morning” was the morning of the flight south. Check in was at 8:30 and ideally, anyone travelling with a dog is expected to arrive earlier than that. Charles rushed to the owner’s house at 8:00 and returned with not one, but two female pups – one for him and one for a friend down south.

Charles is a pretty easy going fellow. I happened to be a witness to some of this drama and couldn’t resist having a little bit of fun at his expense. I suggested that if he and Catherine got married some day and had children, that he might want to invite me into the delivery room.

Having witnessed the birth of my four children, I felt eminently qualified to determine the sex of the next member of the Dion family.

Have a great Christmas week.

Stay safe.

 

The girls

 

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Monday Morning Musings

Posted on December 13, 2021 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

Northern Reflections. Thanks for the memories, Kangiqsujuaq!

 

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