Monday Morning Musings

Posted on October 29, 2018 under Monday Morning Musings with one comment

Warning: Sarcasm Ahead

 

“The whole world’s goin’ crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy,

Hey baby, you wanna go crazy with me.”

The Whole World’s Goin’ Crazy. April Wine

Give your head a shake.

Make that a double-double.

Absurdity. Ab.surd.i.ty. Noun. The quality or state of being ridiculous or wildly unreasonable.

Do you remember when Facebook was just like a small boutique store on your Main Street? It was a place where you could find quality if not quantity and you knew the staff and they knew you. These days, Facebook more often resembles the Wagon Wheel Flea Market in Pinellas Park, Florida. The Wagon Wheel “rests on 125 acres and hosts nearly 2000 booths.” If you can’t find what you need here, jump aboard the next shuttle to Mars.

I am in no way slighting FB. It’s just that one’s head can get dizzy trying to absorb the onslaught of information. Once in a while, something catches my attention and causes my head to rotate on its axis. It would appear that a local coffee purveyor is in trouble with its loyal clientele. They are quite annoyed that there are too many choices at the drive thru causing congestion and delay, not to mention tons of exhaust going into the ozone.

Indeed. What an outrage. At the same time that I was watching people weighing in with a growing chorus of discontent, I happened to be doing some editing on my upcoming book on my travels in India. Crowded drive thrus are not a big issue in that country. Hunger, poverty and homelessness are the reality for millions of its citizenry.

Talk about first world problems.

I have given the issue considerable thought and have come up with three possible solutions. Twinning of our highways is a major priority. Why couldn’t the coffee establishment do some twinning of its own and just add a second “quick checkout” lane? I’m joking, sort of. The second is a time tested approach. How about actually getting out of the vehicle and walking inside the store when the lineups get too long? I’ve saved my best idea for last. It’s quite novel and might put me in line for a Nobel Peace Prize. You can actually purchase the franchise’s coffee and (gasp) make the identical cup of coffee at home at a fraction of the price. But in order to do this, you’ll either have to sit in the lineup and order a bag of java or haul your arse out of your rig and go inside the store and purchase it there.

Oh, yes. I go by said establishment every morning on my walk. I want to make it abundantly clear that this business is a terrific corporate citizen and I heartily applaud their community-mindedness. When I cross James Street, I look in every direction at least three times. I have been nearly run over in the crosswalk multiple times as vehicles rush to get into the drive thru lineup so that they can sit and wait.

Yours truly.

Old, cranky, and sarcastic.

Have a great week.

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Comments

One Response to Monday Morning Musings

  1. Carleton MacNeil says:

    Great piece Len! I am extremely regular at said establishment. In fact so regular that while I am saying good morning, my order is being rung in and my egg sandwich (which is not on the menu) is already being prepared. Awesome staff there, in my view. Most often the long lineups are a result of inconsiderate customers. Such as a recent experience I had: as I approached the restaurant I noticed only two vehicles in the drive thru so I decided to break my tradition, since I was only getting a good cup of tea, and take the lazy route. I ordered my tea and then began a ten minute wait, after which the first vehicle finally moved on and put his signal on to make a left hand turn out of the drive thru. When I got to the service window, I was greeted by a very pleasant young man that apologized for the long wait and continued to say “ yeah that buddy up there(while nodding to the exit) ordered a freakin banquet. Yeah there he is holding up the lineup again”. I was so glad that this guy was on the service window – he needed to be there at that moment because his comment made everything alright again!! There is a positive in every negative.
    People should realize the the small service window is for small orders and the double doors are for the big ones.
    Cheers Len and keep up the good work!!

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