Monday Morning Musings

Posted on January 13, 2020 under Monday Morning Musings with one comment

Hats off to balloons


“Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?
Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?
We could float among the stars together, you and I,
For we can fly, we can fly.”
Up, Up and Away – The 5th. Dimension

I was having a WhatsApp phone conversation with a buddy of mine on the weekend. For some reason unbeknownst to me, he reads my twice weekly column, something he’s been doing for years. I won’t embarrass him by outing him for this serious lack in judgment. We’ve been friends for well over forty years. Our conversations are easy and usually filled with insults. We have laughed together, lamented, commiserated and even shed a tear together. That’s what friendship is all about. Especially the insults which keep us humble.

I chuckled when he said that I could probably write an entire story on farts and farting. Sometimes I even surprise myself when I write 500 words about absolutely nothing. I guess I’m channeling my inner Jerry Seinfeld. I will not insult your intelligence or spoil your first coffee of the morning by discussing flatulence. Safe to say that it is impolite to fart on an elevator.

Now that I have your curiosity piqued, I want to have a serious discussion about balloons. Some of you probably popped a few on New Year’s Eve at midnight. Balloons are popular at birthdays. A few have been lucky and brave enough to fly in one. Up, up and away.
So, what’s with the picture at the top of the page? The geniuses amongst you will know exactly what that picture is all about.

When I was home for Christmas, I received a beautiful gift of a hat. Yes, that hat. It was made in a northern community decades ago. The colors are beautiful and the craftmanship simply amazing. The problem is that it is a few sizes too big. You may wonder how this is possible as some of you think that I have a swelled head as it is!

I know a bit about knitting. Forty years ago, I had my first of three knee surgeries. All that kneeling and praying on hard wooden floors saying the rosary finally took its toll! Truth be told, it was a hockey injury. During my convalescence, I learned how to knit. I went on a rampage and knitted about 10 lopi sweaters which were all the rage back then. When I screwed up a pattern (knit one, purl one), I would make a mad dash out to Marie MacKenzie’s home in Morristown and magically, she would clean up my mess. I knew enough that the knitted hat that was given to me couldn’t be fixed.

Rather than go to Google, I went and talked with the woman who made my parka. She told me to wash the hat in hot water and then blow up a balloon and sit the hat over the top in order to maintain its shape. My own solution is to go to the drugstore and get some Rogaine and see if I can grow some of my hair back.

So there. Just shy of 600 words about nothing.

Speaking of flatulence, I think I’ll go and listen to Mason Williams’ Classical Gas.

Have a great week.

P.S. If you’re ever bored, you can call me, but not by phone. Facetime, Messenger, WhatsApp and Skype all work reasonably well. The video occasionally works. The audio can be a bit spotty. I’m not lonely by the way, but I’m always happy to chat. If you think my writing is boring, you should hear me on the phone.

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Highland Hearing Clinic

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