Thursday Tidbits

Posted on July 15, 2021 under Thursday Tidbits with no comments yet


Bridge and Roses

(Photo by B.Gould)


“Slip sliding away,

Slip sliding away,

You know the nearer your destination,

The more you slip sliding away.”

Slip Slidin’ Away – Simon and Garfunkel

That whooshing sound you hear is the summer ‘slip slidin’ away’.

“Oh my god, Len. You make Eeyore seem like Polyanna.” Truth be told, I think my personality profile is tilted much more heavily towards Polyanna than Eeyore. Eeyore is generally characterized as the pessimistic, gloomy, depressed sidekick of Winnie the Pooh. Polyanna is often described as an excessively cheerful or optimistic person. I have more good days than bad. I am happy more than sad. It’s just that I looked at the calendar and it is already July 15th. It happens every moth with shocking regularity. The month begins slowly, the 15th arrives when you’re napping and then, pow, it’s the end of the month again. Please nod if you feel the same. There’s a good chance that everyone nodding is over 65.

In a recent post, I told you that I opted to do the MDN program (self-directed!) instead of the headier Masters in Adult Education. In case you missed that post (shame on you), an MDN is a Masters in Doing Nothing. I am happy to report that I am moving along so quickly and proficiently, that I am now pondering taking the leap and tackling the much more demanding PhD. (Piled Higher and Deeper). This will qualify me to teach a university course on slothfulness or possibly lead a singalong at a daycare centre.

How is it humanly possible to do so little in a given day and actually feel like you accomplished something? I suppose that getting out of bed is a moral victory of sorts and being able to go for a walk counts for something but, my goodness that is hardly a reason to contact the folks at Guinness World Book of Records.

I haven’t baked a single thing in 6 weeks and have prepared the grand total of one meal. Am I doing a cleanse? Not on your life unless you consider my morning shower as a chief component of my cleanse. I am probably eating healthier than I have in some time thanks to my friends at Fresh Food Matters. Their food is delicious and nutritious. I have eaten more salad in the past month and a half than I have in 69 years. I haven’t wasted a scrap of food either. I am so pleased to see that my crisper doesn’t contain a bag of soggy lettuce or tomatoes only fit for throwing at a politician.

I have taken sloth to new heights, and I am deliriously happy.

I am thrilled that I am getting to spend time with two of my granddaughters. I must admit that they are much more worldly than I was at the age of 9. They are very smart and bilingual. I admit to speaking passable English. I am learning about Minecraft and gender fluidity. I barely knew what the word gender meant at that tender age. We go to the playground, enjoy the occasional ice cream and will go to the beach whenever it stops raining. Cue “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh”. I guess we can’t complain about a soggy June on the east coast as our friends on the west coast experience extreme heat and wildfires.

Some of you might remember that 10 years ago or so, I wrote a bi-weekly piece in our local paper. It’s called The Casket. Go ahead and guffaw, those of you who think that the paper would only hire deadbeat writers like me. The Casket refers to a casket of jewels. On the opposite weeks, my friend, Phil wrote a column. Phil is a retired university English professor and a wonderful writer. Our column was called “As We See It”. Despite the fact that Phil has spent much of his adult life here in Antigonish, he is still considered by some as a CFA (Come From Away). I wrote from the perspective of a local. Phil’s stories came from a different area code. The contrasting styles seemed to work, and we were employed for a considerable amount of time. But everything runs its course including the paper itself which, sadly, bears no resemblance to the excellent and informative weekly it once was in its heyday.

I was chatting with Phil the other day and I’m trying to cajole him out of retirement for us to do a “Len and Phil” music and storytelling session sometime in the not-too-distant future. With all of the new brew pubs and distilleries opening up in the community lately, I think one of them might be a dandy place to hold such an event. The upside of holding it in a pub, is that, even if no one shows up, Phil and I would still be able to entertain one another and possibly the bar staff… if we tipped them enough!

I did it again. I managed to write 850 words about nothing. And I didn’t even tell you about the 30 km walk with my friend, Brenda last weekend or my recent cortisone shot. Riveting stuff but I didn’t want to get you too excited. If you bump into Brenda at Elm Gardens, ask her about corn starch!

Have a great weekend.

P.S. Speaking of the weekend, the first Art Fair of 2021 is tomorrow evening at Chisholm Park from 6-9 P.M.

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