Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom (And Whimsy)

Posted on May 3, 2023 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with no comments yet

To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump (To the tune of the William Tell Overture)


Last Saturday, I woke with a man cold.

Let that sink in.

What was I to do? It was a four-alarm fire. I thought about calling 911, 811, 211. Next on my list of emergency contacts was EHS (Emergency Health Services). I felt so awful, I contemplated calling our two local funeral homes to put them on notice. You get the picture.

Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I decided to go for a walk… to the local landfill.

It was a glorious morning as I strapped on my backpack and grabbed my walking poles. Leaving the confines of the town, I marched up the first of many hills on the Beech Hill Road. I chose this unusual destination for two reasons: The 17km roundtrip provides a very good cardiac workout and the view of our lovely town, just across the road from the County offices is one of the best you can find. I stopped for a few moments admiring the splendour of the morning. I decided to post a short video on FB. When I mentioned that I was going to the dump, a few people messaged me, poking a bit of fun at my choice of destination.

That got me to thinking, a dangerous proposition at the best of times. What would happen if I pulled up lame on the side of the road and someone stopped to assist me? “Where are you heading, Len?” “I’m going to the dump.” “I can give you a lift. Do you wish to be recycled or are you considered solid waste, possibly hazardous waste?”

There is one very long hill along this route. Just as I began to make my ascent, a dog bolted from a nearby property and came charging at me, growling with ferocity. There was a time in my life that I had an innate fear of dogs after getting bitten in the arse as a youngster. But now, I realize that most dogs are harmless and when they come running at you, they are merely protecting their property. Rather than developing a defensive posture, I have learned that encouraging the dog to come to me and holding out a non-threatening hand, is a much better strategy. The owner of the dog exhorted his four-legged protector to return home. I bent down on one knee and was introduced to Nova. After gaining permission from its owner, I patted Nova and she actually tried to lick my face.

The landfill road is a dead end. I turned around when I reached the end of the line, and having noticed a DOT (Department of Transportation) sawhorse on a side road, I pulled off the road to have a nutrition break.

Show of hands. How many of you like peanut butter? Quite a few, I see. I had prepared a peanut butter sandwich on whole wheat bread. I sat on the sawhorse and took the first bite. I was immediately transported back in time to my youth when a peanut butter sandwich was a staple when we used to go and play in the woods for countless hours. Eating a PB sandwich outdoors is exquisite. Location is everything as real estate agents often opine.

I took off my baseball cap and felt the breeze in my hair (singular). I listened to an industrious woodpecker nearby and heard the distinct cries of an eagle. It’s not easy to equate paradise with a landfill that’s only a kilometer away but I felt very much at peace.

I was about one kilometer from home when I heard the sirens of an ambulance coming up behind me. Whenever an EHS vehicle speeds by, I know that somebody is having a bad day. Some poor soul inside that vehicle was in distress.

I speculated that it might have been a male suffering from a man cold, whose symptoms had escalated to include headaches and postnasal drip.

Have a great weekend.

P.S. “In a society that has you counting money, pounds, calories and steps, be a rebel and count your blessings instead.” Lisa Heckman

Enjoy this? Visit the rest of my website to enjoy more of my work or buy my books!
Tri Mac Toyota!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.