You’re Toast

Posted on June 10, 2015 under Storytelling with no comments yet


Give us this day our daily bread



“Goin’ to the chapel and we’re gonna get married …”

Chapel of Love – Phil Spector

June has arrived and hearts are aflutter; it is wedding season in Nova Scotia.

A beautiful love story has unfolded in Antigonish as a middle aged couple prepare for their nuptials.  Marrying later in life is not all that uncommon as we see couples in their 70s and 80s tying the knot with increasing frequency.  A story in our provincial paper some months ago about a couple “walking hand in hand through life” evoked an incredible response.  They are a fixture in our community and can be seen strolling “The Main” just about every day of the year.  It is obvious to even the most casual observer that they are very much in love.

When first interviewed, they mentioned that they hoped to be married in a couple of years once they were able to save up enough money.  This caught the eye of a few people and a tsunami of generosity sprung forth.  Soon Marilyn and Austin will walk down the aisle of St. Ninian’s Cathedral with the support and love of an entire community.

I am far from an expert on love but, after thirty three years of wedded bliss (?!), I do have some insights about the delicate balancing act that we call marriage.

Over a long period of time, you learn to read signals and body language.  The rolling of eyes is a dead giveaway that something is not quite 100%.  Besides the non-verbal cues, there are many practical things that can carry a marriage a long way.

Some of these things are blatantly obvious.  Don’t attempt to do drywall together.  Never ask your partner to give you directions while driving through Los Angeles.  Always put the toilet seat down.  Make absolutely certain that there is a fresh cup of coffee waiting first thing in the morning.  These are no-brainers.

But I am here to tell you, in no uncertain terms, that the key to a successful marriage is a four slice toaster.

We all know what mornings look like.  Most of us stagger around just trying to acknowledge the dawning of a new day.  Hair is tousled and breath is probably not of the “minty fresh” variety.  One or more body parts hurt and conversations are typically guttural and monosyllabic.  You get the picture.  Most times, you just try and give each other a wide berth until the caffeine kicks in.

We had a two slice toaster when we were first married.  And, if my memory serves me correctly, that lasted all of one week.  Who gets to use the toaster first as you stumble around the kitchen wiping the sleep from your eyes?  Chivalry has its place but, when it comes to the toaster, I’m an “equal opportunity” kind of guy.  We quickly discovered that a four slicer was imperative and over the years, we have had some of our more meaningful discussions while waiting for the toast to pop.

I know which side my bread is buttered on and I plan to keep it that way.

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