Posted on April 28, 2014 under Monday Morning Musings with 4 comments

Saltscapes

 

 

I promise that this is the last word on the fundraiser. Those of you who read this column regularly, know that I take a shot at whiners from time to time. Most of us have much to be thankful for so when I hear people complaining for no good reason, I am apt to take a shot at them.

The following paragraph does NOT constitute whining…. It is merely observations. There’s a difference, you know!

The bottom line is that the show to raise money for the Community Hot Meal was a financial success. We are still accepting donations ( see me about this if you would like to make a tax deductible donation) and I expect when all is said and done that we will top the $6,000 mark. I am still in shock at the relatively low turnout for the show. As far as I can tell, there wasn’t anything else big going on in the community that night. We had a terrific line up of performers and artists and those in attendance seemed to really enjoy it. The cause was worthy. The weather was a bit dicey but I don’t think that was a major factor. If I organize another show like this, I might try something radical like having it on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. What do you think?  Any comments or suggestions are always welcome.

There. The end of the whine.

I attended the tribute for the late Blaise MacInnis at the R.K. MacDonald Nursing Home last Saturday. Blaise was obviously very well liked as the place was packed for an afternoon of country music. Ty Tyke Wallace and Robert MacArthur cranked out just about every country classic. You could feel the warmth in the room. It was a Saturday afternoon and it was sunny but that didn’t keep people away.

The pen was busy this weekend.

Did you go and line up at the pumps the day before the latest price increase? I did the math and I would have saved $1.20 if I had joined the ranks of the crazies ( apologies if you are one of those! ).  I did some other calculations and decided that the cost of idling the vehicle while waiting in line might be more than the gas savings. This prompted me to write a slightly sarcastic piece called “Pandemonium at the Pumps.”

Let’s face it. People are crazy about their dogs. I had friends over for coffee on Saturday morning. Both couples have dogs and one couple  was on their way to pick theirs up after travelling to the States. A short while later , I was walking along Main Street and noticed several people walking their dogs along side a dog trainer. It was quite impressive watching him putting the dogs and their owners through their paces. One of these people was my neighbor and I jokingly said that maybe Betty should be out here trying to train me. Without batting an eye, she said that she had an extra collar and leash at home.

These two seemingly unrelated incidents prompted me to run home and pen a story.  Are men trainable? Find out when I publish the story “Off Leash Men” coming soon at Week45.

Have a great week.

P.S. Congrats to the businesses from Antigonish who had booths at Saltscapes on the weekend. They did a great job showcasing our area of the province.

Posted on April 26, 2014 under Storytelling with 12 comments

Wrapping – Child’s Play

 

 

I just shipped out a box of my books to Wisconsin.  I should be elated that the good folks who bring you the Green Bay Packers and some of the best cheese in the world read my material.  I headed down to the post office earlier today and presented the large, heavy package to a pleasant clerk.  She weighed it; I paid the shipping costs and was leaving when I saw a grin cross her face.  “Did you wrap this parcel?”

Some things I do reasonably well.  I can make a mean omelet and a pan-fried haddock to die for.  During income tax season (my wife’s line of work) I take care of the laundry chores.   However, I was advised recently that if I put her bra in the dryer again, I will be forbidden to do the laundry in the future.  There’s an offer I can hardly refuse.  I regularly load and unload the dishwasher.   I can sing the tenor line in our church choir.

There are some things I do poorly and, as a result, don’t do them anymore.  I can’t assemble anything, even when the instructions are in English.  I can’t repair anything.   If I encounter technology problems at home or at work, I run screaming into a corner.

And despite my best efforts, I simply don’t know how to wrap presents, or anything else for that matter.

Back when I was young, naïve and smitten, I tried to impress my wife at Christmas.  I actually went into a store and picked out a gift.  I took it home and after a few feeble attempts, managed to hide the contents.  I quickly found out a few things.  The gift was poorly chosen and poorly wrapped.  The following year, I got smart and picked out a gift and had the store wrap it.  It looked fabulous.  But I soon found out that I had morphed into phase two of gift giving: well wrapped and poorly chosen.  This was closely followed the next year by unwrapped and poorly chosen.

In year four, I shelved the notion of a gift altogether.  Now, she buys the gift and wraps it.  There is nobody more surprised on Christmas morning than me when she opens her present … from me.

Which brings me to my most recent attempt at wrapping a parcel.  I tried to ship one book, one lousy book, to a reader in Alberta.  After a few minutes of futility, I went to the stationery store and got a bubble wrap envelope.  But you can’t put a large box of books in a bubble wrap package so I decided to wrap this latest shipment in brown paper and send it along.

Have you ever been to a day care centre just after “arts and crafts” hour?

The first piece of brown paper was too short.  The next one was too long.  Then I was flailing away trying to get the paper in place while extricating the scotch tape from the roller.  The angles of the folds weren’t perfect, but eventually it looked like a real parcel.  Just to make certain that things didn’t fall apart, I wrapped the extra wide, heavy duty packing tape around and around the box.  It probably added a pound to the shipping weight.  They may never get the damn thing open in Wausau but it will be in one piece when it arrives.

I am encouraging my readers to go to my website in future and take advantage of the digital download version of the book.  No packaging or shipping required.

Posted on April 23, 2014 under Storytelling with 2 comments

Charlene and Len – Boston 2011

 

 

If you Google the expression “tough as nails”, you are apt to find a description of Charlene Druhan.

Recently she completed her seventh Boston Marathon and won her age group.  Yes.  She beat every other woman of her vintage who had come to Boston from the four corners of the earth.   She also improved her best time in the marathon by almost ten minutes.  Some things and some people just keep getting better.

Charlene was my running partner for eight years.  It probably felt like eighty to her.  We “discovered” each other through Bernie Bo Chisholm who arranged our first date.  One of our first runs was on Back Road Brierly Brook, a place we would traverse dozens if not hundreds of times over the years.  All I knew was that she was a MacLean from Viewville Street.  The house she grew up in was the first home that my wife and I owned.

On that first run, we talked mostly about families.  We both grew up in large, Catholic households where chaos reigned supreme.  You fought for every morsel of food and came to understand that hand-me-downs were just a way of life.  We shared stories of bedlam and dysfunction, along with tales of laughter, love and learning.  After thousands of kilometers and several marathons, we concluded that every family is weird in its own way.

I learned a few things quickly.  Charlene runs hard … all the time.  She shows up promptly, in all weather conditions, and never complains about our climate or her aches and pains.  She is extremely focused on the task at hand.  While I have always been impressed with her physical prowess, it is her mental toughness that puts her head and shoulders above most women in this province in long distance running.  And, as of last week, she leads women from all over the world in her age group.

If you want to understand tough, just ask the poor pit bull on East Ohio Lake Road.  On one of our long runs from the far end of Lochaber Lake to the church in St. Joseph’s, we encountered this very angry dog.  He was in full snarl mode; baring his sharp teeth and blocking the road.  I picked up a large stick, which is what most mortals would do in a similar situation.  Charlene barely broke stride as she charged straight toward him.  She hurled a few carefully chosen expletives and the dog ran into a stand of bushes with his tail squarely between his legs.

I was fortunate enough to run the Boston Marathon twice and am quick to give credit to Charlene for pushing me every step of the way. Pushing turned to pulling the first time I ran Boston. With about 5K to go, my legs simply would not cooperate.  Charlene had patiently run every step of the course with me so far.  When I gently tried to explain to her that I might not be able to finish the race, she gave me “the look”.  She uttered a few profanities. Now I know how the pit bull felt!  She took me by the hand and dragged me to the finish line.  A fellow competitor, who had followed us the entire route, wondered if we were an old married couple.  This runner found it so romantic that we had crossed the finish line hand in hand.  If she only knew.

I have played a lot of sports and have seen a lot of terrific athletes in my day.  Pound for pound, I will take Charlene as the best all-round athlete I have ever met.  Toughness and tenacity personified.

She is, in the words of Tina Turner, “simply the best.”