Posted on September 23, 2015 under Storytelling with no comments yet

Instant teller? I think not

 

 

After a long, productive work career, Donna retired. But not for long. When you have energy to burn and you’re still young, the thought of sitting at home watching soaps and sipping on Chardonnay held no appeal. She decided that in between stints of babysitting for her grandchildren, a shift or two at the local hospital might be just the tonic.

Donna was known as someone who got things done. Hard working, efficient, personable and punctual; she always seemed to be in good cheer even when things weren’t going according to plan. Her laugh was infectious. This happy demeanor was about to be tested.

It was a particularly humid day for mid-September as Donna headed to work to catch the afternoon shift. She decided to make one brief stop along the way at her bank; to pay a credit card bill that was due that very day. Yes, the card proclaimed that “membership has its privileges”, but pity help the customer who paid a nanosecond late. That is when the exorbitant interest rate kicks into gear.

It was 2:35 when Donna entered her financial institution ahead of her 3 PM shift. With the hospital only a few minutes away, there was plenty of time to take care of the task at hand. Or so she thought. It was blessedly cool in the bank as she slipped into a short lineup, if you can reasonably call one person a lineup. Having grown up in the area, it was not surprising that the person in front of her was someone she knew. Kelly was a well-known real estate agent and the two women engaged in casual banter about the plethora of houses currently on the market.

Despite the fact that it was mid-afternoon, it was somewhat surprising that there were only two tellers on duty. One was manning the senior’s wicket. Both employees were engaged with customers. Donna chatted and started watching the clock as the line was just not moving. A queue was now growing in number behind her. A real crowd.

A small bead of perspiration formed on Donna’s brow, despite the air conditioning. Kelly was not under the same time constraints, so that when one of the tellers became free she offered her position to Donna; a true act of charity. Donna hastily approached the counter, slapped the credit card bill on the counter and waited for confirmation of payment. This was precisely when the teller’s screen froze. It was now 3 PM and Donna wasn’t sure which was worse: the thought of showing up late for work or the image of trying to explain her late fee charges to some overzealous call centre worker in Omaha.

Despite her cheerful demeanor, which was being tested to the limit, she was anxious to get the matter resolved before going to work. The teller sensed this and rushed over to her colleague’s computer. By now, Kelly was occupying the space at this wicket. Sensing the urgency of the moment, she told her teller that she could wait if she wanted to process the credit card payment for her friend.

Barely breaking stride, Donna’s teller virtually ripped the monitor from the hands of her work mate, did a log out and log in, and at 3:05, the payment was processed.

Donna bolted for her car and sped the short distance to the hospital. She arrived to some good natured ribbing from her co-workers.

When supper hour came, she decided to forego her bagged lunch and slipped down to the hospital café to buy a meal. She approached the cashier and the order was rung in. “Will that be cash, debit or credit?” queried the attendant.

Donna paused momentarily and a wry grin appeared on her face. She smiled and slipped the clerk a crisp $10.00 bill.

Posted on September 21, 2015 under Monday Morning Musings with one comment

The philosopher’s post at The Landing

 

 

Those of you who regularly walk The Landing might have spotted this small poster stapled to the end of the bridge along the trail. Here’s what it says: “ Only ideas won by walking have any value.” The quote is attributed to the late German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche. I took some time to read about Nietzsche and I don’t think he was a fitness freak by any stretch of the imagination. He is best known for his writings on good and evil.

There are regular Landing walkers and I believe they all share something in common. They have come to realize that a daily walk is healthy. It is good for the lungs, the heart, the brain, the legs, and yes, even the soul. The phrase “God is dead” is attributed to Nietzsche. Those of us who walk in the early morning and see the sun rise over William’s Point aren’t so certain.

Someone stopped me the other day ( as I was entering The Landing ) to tell me that they were inspired with my hiking story ( A Walk in the Woods ). Lest you think that the intent of my stories is to try and motivate people, that is not the case. I am merely relating everyday stuff that a lot of other people do. If it happens to inspire someone, then that is terrific.

Last week, I spoke about a “murder of crows” in the story “ Nothing to Crow About.” I followed this up with a quiz and one reader identified the name for a collection of owls. It is called a parliament. I will not insult your intelligence by asking you to identify the name for a collection of rabbits. Too easy. It is called a herd. But do you know where they live ( besides your vegetable garden! ) ? Correct. Rabbits live in a warren.

Now the reason I bring this up is that I am seriously thinking of relocating once again to move in with the herd. You see, I have embarked on this new journey to eat properly and over the past 16 days, I have possibly eaten more vegetables than all the rabbits in Antigonish County combined. I am eating a very balanced diet with a preponderance of veggies and fruit along with my daily walk. Not bragging, but I’ve shed 11 pounds in less than three weeks. These are the easy pounds of course but I am very encouraged. My life long craving for sweets is dissipating with each passing day. I don’t smoke or drink and am off the sweets. I could be a candidate for the most boring person in Antigonish!

I have two good stories on the drawing board. “Late Fee Fiasco” is a story about getting caught in a lineup…. not just any lineup, but a bank lineup. The protagonist, Donna, is on her way to work and gets stuck in a bank bottleneck. She needs to pay her credit card bill on time ( that very day ) or absorb exorbitant bank fees. We’ve all been in this situation. We’re under the gun with time constraints and the gods conspire to make our lives difficult.

Now, the other story might not appeal to everyone. If you didn’t grow up in the 60’s in Antigonish, most of the content of this story won’t mean a damn thing to you. But, it doesn’t really matter. If you grew up in any small town during that era, you will have fond memories of the businesses that dotted your Main Street. So, for any of you who had a feed of possibly the best fish and chips ever at Johnny Lord’s, stay tuned. I don’t have a name for the story but you’ll get an alert.

Have a great week.

Posted on September 19, 2015 under Storytelling with no comments yet

Don’t get bulldozed into getting married

 

 

Most of us vividly remember our wedding day. The endless planning, jangled nerves, the realization that you are going to have a mother-in-law; all stress-inducing to be sure. And when the big day comes, we are consumed with the last minute details of hair appointments, getting dressed, and pondering the imponderable; “is that women really prepared to put up with me forever?” And then there’s the church adorned with flowers and sometimes candles. It is important to create the appropriate backdrop for this once in a lifetime event. I have also witnessed weddings in parks, barns, farmers’ fields and, of course, at the ocean. Watching a stunning bride and a dashing groom exchange vows with the sun setting on the Gulf of Mexico is something to behold – unless the backdrop includes several D-18 Caterpillar dozers.

 

I fondly remember my own wedding. In retrospect, it somehow seems fitting that our wedding day was the day after a hurricane had brushed the northeastern tip of Nova Scotia, causing extensive wind and wave damage. My loving bride was not swept off her feet by her prince charming. No, that was done compliments of the hurricane. The one and only outdoor picture was taken moments after exiting the church with the umbrella inside out and pointing skyward.

 

So I am standing at the barbecues at our vacation resort, lovingly preparing some 2 for 1pork chops for my bride of 30 years. I am engaged in a conversation with 2 lovely women from Ohio who are permanently moving to Florida any day now. Why anyone would trade Ohio for Clearwater in mid-February is beyond me.

 

As the sun is beginning to set there is a stir next door at an establishment well-known in the area for putting on weddings. A young couple, beaming with excitement, followed by their entourage, emerges from the hotel to exchange their vows on the beach. Unfortunately the best man is wearing a hard hat with the words “American Army Corps of Engineers” emblazoned on his jacket. You see, this unsuspecting couple could not have possibly known that on this exact day, at this precise hour, at this particular resort, the wedding party would not be accompanied by the strains of violins or bagpipes but by the sounds of enough heavy equipment to rebuild the Panama Canal.

 

Some time ago a storm roared up the Gulf of Mexico, literally and figuratively changing the landscape. In order to restore the beaches, a major reclamation project was initiated to import sand from far offshore and bring the beaches back to their pristine selves. To do this requires engineering and lots and lots of noisy, smelly, heavy duty equipment.

 

I was trying to lip-read the justice of the peace as he began the ceremony amidst the din. After a while I noticed him wildly gesticulating with his hands which could only mean that he was reduced to using sign language above the defeating roar. We will never know for sure if the marriage was legitimate. If an annulment is ever requested by either spouse, a strong case can be made that neither of them heard the other say “I do”.

 

My offer of two perfectly-cooked pork chops to the bride and groom went unnoticed. They were too busy making sand castles on the beach.