Posted on May 5, 2015 under Storytelling with 2 comments

Sweet Cravings

 

 

We’ve all done it.

Sometimes we have an insatiable urge for a particular food and, if it’s not in the house, we will go to any lengths to procure it.  There was a time in my life when the craving for a feed of “the dirty bird” (KFC) was every bit as strong as nicotine.  (I used to be a smoker and I know what that feels like.)  Ditto for a slice of Wheel pizza, Chinese food or a large slab of chocolate cake with 7 Minute Icing.  And when the craving hits, we often leave the house within moments.

I was involved in Scouts for a brief period of time and remember the motto: Be Prepared.  According to the Scouts, that means that you are supposed to always be in a state of readiness in order to do your duty.  When your spouse says that going for an ice cream treat is imperative, that is one duty that cannot be ignored.  And I remember my mother telling me: Make sure you are always wearing clean underwear in case you’re involved in an accident.  You would hate to end up at the hospital in the X-ray department wearing two day old Stanfield’s.

It was a rather cool evening when the well-respected businessman left the comfort of his house in pursuit of two banana splits and a Blizzard from the local Dairy Queen.  He was wearing nothing but pajama bottoms, a t-shirt and slippers.  After all, it was Saturday night and he was only going through the drive thru.  The DQ doesn’t mandate business attire.

He was pleased to see that there was just a single vehicle in the lineup.  He expected to return home with the treats in short order.  But, just like a grocery store queue, sometimes looks can be deceiving.

He placed his order and waited his turn for the pick-up window.  After 5 minutes of idling, he began to tap his fingers on the steering wheel with impatience.  The car in front of him wasn’t moving, despite the fact that the occupants had received their order.  The driver of the car got out … no mean feat when you consider the space between the car and the delivery window … and approached the businessman.

“Can you give me a boost?  It seems like my battery has died.”

A few more cars had joined the lineup by this time but there was just enough room to put his car in reverse and edge around the stalled car. He made a U-turn and manoeuvered his vehicle so that his hood was abutting her engine.  He grabbed the cables from the trunk and emerged to assist the damsel in distress …. in his pajamas and slippers.  He hadn’t thought much about his garb.  He attached the cables and instantly heard the adjacent car spring back to life.

And then, a light snow began to fall.  Despite the fact that it was late April, Mother Nature had refused to loosen her grip on winter, prolonging a long stretch of miserable weather.  The brutish winter had led to an unusually cold spring.

He put his car in reverse and heard the blare of a horn.  It appeared that the car that he had just boosted had fallen silent again.  The snow was now starting to accumulate as he once again applied the cables. The lineup in the drive thru had lengthened considerably.  Was it his imagination or were people staring at him?  After a third futile attempt at resuscitating the vehicle, he told the woman that she needed more than a boost.  He backed out of the drive thru and watched as a few good Samaritans pushed her car out into the parking lot to await the tow truck.

He was just about to pull away when he remembered that he hadn’t picked up his order.  The restaurant was crowded inside.  The people in the drive thru had already seen him in his bedtime attire.  He exited his car and shuffled to the drive thru window with his eyes downcast. He sheepishly poked his head in and asked for his ice cream.  He noticed a teenage attendant with a cell phone pointed in his direction, and wondered if he would see a YouTube video on Facebook by the time he got home.

It had become a full-blown snow storm when he pulled into his heated garage.

His wife and daughter stared at him inquisitively.  He thought it best to “eat now and explain later”.  He opened the bag to discover that two thirds of the order had been filled … the banana splits.  “Where is the Blizzard?” he wondered.  He looked out the living room window and grinned as small drifts appeared in his driveway.

He grabbed a bag of chips from the cupboard to munch while the gals got their ice cream fix.

Posted on May 4, 2015 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

HOPE

 

 

Well, it took a very long time but it looks like we’ve turned the corner and spring has finally arrived. Even the staunchest fans of winter must admit that it lasted a bit too long. Prediction: within a few days we’ll collectively be complaining about the following ( in no particular order ): dandelions, black flies and yes, the heat.

I traveled to Cape Breton last Friday and met one of the most amazing people. I have been to Sydney and Glace Bay many times over the years but I’ve never traveled the road through Whitney Pier down to New Victoria. It was a beautiful drive and I was amazed at the ice in Sydney Harbor. I could see across to the Marine Atlantic terminal and wondered how the ferries ever managed to get through the ice this winter.

I sat at the kitchen table of Michael and Marilyn Campbell for two hours. I was told by a friend that this would be time well spent as Mike is quite the story teller. He plays somewhere in the neighborhood of 75-80 hockey games a year…. the equivalent to a full NHL schedule. I realize that a lot of kids play that many and possibly more. Mike also mows the grass in two different cemeteries all summer long… with an old fashioned push mower. In other words, Mike is kind of a fitness freak.

Oh. Did I mention that he is just a few months shy of his 90^th. birthday?

I sat there totally engrossed as he told me snippets of his life. His memory for dates is unbelievable .  He never smoked or drank and he is a voracious reader to this very day. And long before scrapbooking became fashionable, he was chronicling the lives of his family and his community. He also has a wicked sense of humour. When I left, Marilyn gave me a frozen apple pie and a bag of cinnamon rolls. She assured me that they should be thawed out by the time I got home. I assured her that they wouldn’t be!

As some of you may know, I am a regular columnist for the Cape Breton Star and next week I will be featuring “The Life and Times of Michael Campbell. “ It will also appear on my website. This is one you won’t want to miss. Some of his one liners are priceless.

We’ve all done it before. You’re already in your pajamas and you have a hankering for a very specific food. Many years ago, I would go to any lengths to get some KFC. That temptation was squashed for good,  a few years ago , with the closure of the local franchise. Most of the fast food joints have a drive thru so you’re not too concerned about being spotted in your nightwear. All well and good but what if you get to the drive thru and the car in front of you has died and needs a boost?  “DQ ed” is a true story about just such a happening. The star of the story was also wearing slippers. And it was snowing… Stay tuned.

Three fundraisers to bring to your attention. This Saturday ( 9^th. ) there will be a musical extravaganza  and auction at Piper’s Pub from 4-8 p.m. in aid of Sadie Anderson.  I will agree to get my face painted… to the highest bidder, of course. Sadie is four years old and is battling cancer. This is a “family friendly” event. It would be nice to start the event with $1000 raised so I’ll start with a $100 donation. Anyone want to match it… or any other amount?  If you can’t make it and want to donate, please track me down ( private message or e-mail me )  or stop by the Tall and Small and pass along your donation to Meghan Peters. I will be the Emcee for the event. Let’s roll up our sleeves for this one, folks.

Mark Sunday, June 7^th. on your calendars. I am helping to organize a fundraiser for “ A Partnership in Caring.” This is a group of people who travel to Rwanda each year to provide medical assistance to those in need. I will be joined on stage by my sidekick, Phil Milner as well as The Park Bench Players and some musical guests. There will be a silent auction as well. It should be a fantastic evening and all proceeds to a very worthy cause.

Those of you in the running community will remember  a young runner from Sydney, Emma van Nostrand. A couple of years ago, Emma died of heart problems a few kilometers from the finish line at the Toronto Marathon. In her memory, her family has established a scholarship fund. I spent some time with her mom and dad while in Cape Breton last Friday. They are business people and on May 29^th., they are having a “grand opening” of their new store ( Belmac ). I will be there with my books and have committed to donate a significant portion of the proceeds to the scholarship fund. They will carry my books on an ongoing basis in the Sydney area.

That’s it. Looks like a wonderful week ahead.

Have a great one.

P.S. Mike Campbell doesn’t think much of people who sit around coffee shops and complain. ( or anywhere else , for that matter ). Here’s what he said on this topic: “ All you do when you’re sitting around with nothing to do, is finding fault. Some people don’t even like the way crows fly.”

Posted on May 2, 2015 under Storytelling with no comments yet

Computer crash???

 

 

 

 

I’ve been everywhere, man I’ve been everywhere, man I’ve crossed the deserts bare, man I’ve breathed the mountain air, man Of travel I’ve had my share, man I’ve been everywhere

I’ve Been Everywhere – Geoff Mack (as sung by Hank Snow)

During the past eight months I have taken three significant road trips.  Most of my travel has been in the continental United States, with lesser amounts in Canada.  All totalled, I have put over 22,000 kilometers on two different vehicles.  That same mileage has been put on this old body.  Most of the driving has taken place on Interstate highways.  I would agree that it’s not the best way to see North America, but it does give one an appreciation for the scope and magnitude of the countries on either side of the “longest undefended border” in the world.

I am an old road warrior from my long-haired university days.  Back in the 70’s I drove across Canada on numerous occasions with a variety of traveling companions.  I have plenty of stories in the memory bank.  Lately, I have had the pleasure of traveling with my son.  He is young and has nerves of steel.  He has navigated (at rush hour) Los Angeles and Chicago, and easily maneuvered through Toronto and Montreal as if it were a trip from Dominion to Glace Bay. We encountered a few car problems along the way and only slept in one seedy motel.

Our latest expedition, just completed a few weeks ago, took us through the Northern United States.  We saw the Rockies and the Great Plains and even deked into Mt. Rushmore for a little history lesson.  Our second last day was the longest, including re-entry into Canada by way of the tunnel at Windsor.  Fifteen hours were under our belt when we checked into a Comfort Inn just off the 401.

Needless to say, our fatigue level was in the “very high” range.  We settled into our room and, within minutes, I had my laptop up and running.  With a deadline looming for one of the papers I write for, I needed to post the story before shutting things down for the night.  I reckon that I have been in approximately 24 hotel rooms since last October, and getting connected to the hotel’s Wi-Fi is a routine procedure, done in minutes.  At least that’s what usually happens.

With me, fatigue and computer problems are similar to gasoline and matches in the hands of a small child: dangerous.  My son, who is quite tech savvy, was unable to help.  I grabbed the laptop and headed down to the front desk.

It was now close to midnight (approximately three hours past my usual bedtime) when I appeared in front of a young clerk.  I gingerly set the computer on the counter in front of her and ask if she could help me get hooked up to the Wi-Fi.  She fiddled with it, as I had done, but to no avail.   She apologized and said that there was nothing she could do.  I cast a glance her way.  No, it was more like a withering stare.  She had obviously taken “anti-terrorism” training.   She looked me up and down, observing two beady eyes that were drilling a hole right into her forehead.   I remained silent while she assessed the threat level.  “I will call tech support,” she said.  I agreed that that was a very wise thing to do.  I suggested that she do the talking with the tech geek.

The minutes seemed like hours as I watched late night traffic whiz by on the 401.  I started to do the countdown in my head.  “If this problem is not fixed in 10 minutes, I am going to walk the computer out to the highway.  I will place it in the middle of the road and watch gleefully as one eighteen wheeler after another turns it into bits and bytes.”

“Mr. MacDonald, your computer is now logged on to our Wi-Fi.  Enjoy the rest of your stay.”  I snapped out of my trance.  Bingo.

The next morning we departed.  Even though my computer was safely stored in the trunk, I couldn’t resist looking at the surface of the 401 for debris …