Posted on March 2, 2017 under Storytelling with 2 comments

 

“ Operator. Well could you help me place this call. “

 Operator. Jim Croce

Alexander Graham Bell spent his summers just a few hours up the road from us in Baddeck, Nova Scotia. He was an amazing inventor. He is credited for inventing the phonograph, the iron lung, the first hydrofoil boat and he was one of the pioneers of aeronautics. But of course, he is best known as the inventor of the telephone, which revolutionized the way people communicated over long distances.

Telephone technology has grown by leaps and bounds over the decades. Many of us remember the days of “party lines” which was really an efficient conduit for transmitting gossip. Calling an operator to get a hold of a friend was the norm. Our number was 117.  Then came a major revolution with the development of the rotary dial phone and things progressed to a button system. Now, the vast majority of people don’t have a landline. Almost two billion people worldwide own cell phones. And many people own more than one mobile device.

When I arrived in India several months ago, I was given a SIM card with a local Indian number. It was good for phoning and texting but for some reason that escapes me, I couldn’t get data. Asking me the  reason for this is like asking me to define a “black hole.” I looked it up. A black hole is a place in space where gravity pulls so much that even light cannot get out. Sometimes I think my brain is akin to a black hole when it comes to technology.

On the advice of a friend, I acquired a second phone. This would give me the capacity to purchase data and use this device for tethering to my phone. Then, I could be connected just about anywhere, any time. Or so I thought. Electronic devices can sniff out imbeciles like me a mile away. I purchased enough gigabytes ( GB ) to last me well into the next century. I am told that one gigabyte  is equal to 1,000,000,000 bytes. Everything went swimmingly well for a few weeks and then for some unknown reason, I couldn’t tether any more.

I decided to “ Bell the cat!”

It was a particularly hot and muggy day when I headed in to the town of Kanyakumari on foot. I had a good sweat on when I entered the office of the service provider who sold me the data. My first stab at an explanation drew blanks as neither salesperson spoke English. Their office wasn’t air conditioned. There wasn’t even a fan. A “ good sweat” turned into a river very quickly. After much hand waving and gesturing, it was decided that I should go next door and talk to their technicians. In a room not much bigger than a shoebox, five men toiled away. This room also served as a central depot of sorts at there were a gazillion wires and circuit boards in every space not occupied by a human. It was cozy and felt like the sauna I once frequented on our university’s campus.

The head tech was busy so one of the second in commands started fidgeting with phone #2. In short order, his buddies weighed in and many opinions abounded. No solution appeared to be forthcoming, I cooled my heals ( a misnomer if I ever heard one! ) for several more minutes waiting for the boss. It didn’t take him long to expose the moron sitting across from him ( me ). He politely said that my data roaming had been left on and the reason my phone wouldn’t tether, is because I had no data. I found this puzzling as earlier in the day, a report had come in on my phone that I still had 5 GB’s remaining on my plan.

I sheepishly walked the handful of steps back into Hades 1 and laid down 549 IRS ( about $11.) for 10 more GB’s. It only took a few seconds and I was back in business. When he handed me back my phone, I was slightly confused ( heat exhaustion possibly? ) when I saw my GB balance. It was 15. I’m pretty good at math. When I asked the young male clerk to explain this to me, he uttered, “ You must have gotten a bonus.” To me that was code for, “ I don’t have a damn clue why you have 15 gigabytes.”

I was almost at the door when it dawned on me to try and tether.  And sure enough, it didn’t work. After 45 minutes of blood sweat and tears ( mostly sweat and tears and some muffled profanities ), I was in exactly the same boat. For the first time in India, I seriously thought about letting out a blood curdling yell like Peter Finch did in the movie “Network.” “ I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.”

I took a couple of deep breaths.         

A young woman appeared behind the counter and her English was more than passable. Between sobs (!) I explained all that had transpired in recent days and more importantly, in the past hour. She grabbed my phone, went to the settings and in under 10 seconds, the problem was fixed. I didn’t need more data after all.  I wanted to leap over the counter and hug her but I also didn’t want to get arrested and go to jail for the terror this might cause her.

I know a much more efficient way of tethering. It involves two empty Campbell’s soup cans and a piece of string . A perfect way to stay connected.

Posted on March 1, 2017 under Faces in the Crowd with 2 comments

” So long for now” ( SML )

The lights in the auditorium dim. The set on the stage is simple. There’s an arm chair, a small coffee table and a floor lamp. There are no flashing lights. There are no big screens. A lanky figure walks on to the stage to enthusiastic applause. He sits down in the chair, puts a book in his hands and peers out over his glasses and begins to read.

“ Dave and Morley…”

It was the spring of 2002. Legendary Beatles singer/songwriter, Paul McCartney was coming to the Air Canada Centre in Toronto to do a show. Most baby boomers can tell you exactly what The Beatles sang on their first trip to America when they appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show on February 9^th., 1964. Most of us were, and still are, great fans of “The Fab Four.”

My son, Peter became a McCartney devotee as a teenager so when we got word of Sir Paul’s imminent arrival, we knew that this show was a must see… at any cost.

We arrived at the ACC early on a Saturday morning to pick up our tickets. Oddly, the concourse area was empty. There was a security person but we were the only two people waiting for the ticket window to open. I picked up the tickets ( about a mortgage payment’s worth! ) and turned around to see a familiar face staring up at the wall at the ticket prices for the event. It was none other than Stuart McLean of CBC “ Vinyl Café ” fame. Even though I had never met him, he felt like one of the family. That’s the kind of rapport he had with his fervent audience.

It wasn’t a matter of being star struck. It just seemed natural to walk over and say hello.

He was thinking about going to see McCartney but was slightly aghast at the ticket prices. I told him that there were times when you just had to bite the bullet if you wanted to go and see one of your idols. I also related to him very briefly the tragic story of my niece’s husband Melvin Hibbs . Melvin had died just a few months earlier in a plane accident. I told him that life was short and that he really should go to the show. The conversation only lasted about 5 minutes. He asked me for my e-mail address.

A few weeks later, I was very surprised to get a message from Stuart. He had gone to the concert after all, had a fantastic time and thanked me for giving him the nudge to empty his wallet. He wanted to do a story about the encounter and asked me a few more questions. On June 2^nd., 2002, I was the subject of one of his vignettes on “ The Vinyl Café” on CBC radio. However, the story was really about Melvin and Audrey. I enjoyed my “ 15 minutes of fame.”

We stayed in touch and a year or so later, he did a Maritime tour. He was coming to Port Hawkesbury and he invited Audrey and I to come as his guests, including a “pre show” meal in a back room at SAERC. We had a pleasant hour together and he and Audrey had some time alone to talk. He was so gracious, so kind and so genuine. The show was fantastic and it was a night we remembered for a long time.

Stuart passed away on February 16, 2017. Hard core CBC radio fans went into mourning.

Stuart Mclean epitomized everything we cherish about being Canadians. He was humble and self effacing. He never sought fame and fortune. It just appeared on his doorstep after years of paying his dues. He didn’t go for big venues and gaudy light shows when he travelled the country, taking his show on the road. He liked the small, intimate, soft seat theatres where he could make eye contact with everyday people. His kind of people. He gave us a geography lesson as he crisscrossed the country for years. His shows always featured music and he went out of his way to showcase up and coming talent.

The theatre lights have been dimmed. The lamp has been turned off for the last time. The book is closed. The last chapter has been written.

Stuart McLean loved Canada and its people. And they loved him back.

                                 

 

 

Posted on February 27, 2017 under Monday Morning Musings with 5 comments

Had my head served on a platter this weekend

I’ve just passed the four month mark of my six month stay in India. I can feel the time slipping away.

In no particular order, some random thoughts on the past few days:

I forgot to mention this but the other day on our way back from the Sports Day, we saw a man eating his supper which in and of itself is not that peculiar. However, where he was dining was rather unusual. He had a small tablecloth underneath him as cars zipped by. He was sitting in the middle of the road. Luckily it wasn’t rush hour!

I am really enjoying teaching English to the 14 young noviciates here at the convent. I have never taught ESL before so I’m scrambling on a daily basis to come up with lesson plans. Besides learning some basic grammar, having oral conversations and writing stories for me every day ( handwritten in scribblers…. just like the old days ), I think the best teaching tool is music. We sing at every class. They have learned enough church music to perform at a mass. But they are now familiar with Neil Young, The Byrds ( “, Turn, Turn “ ), Stan Rogers, Rita MacNeil, John Denver, Gordon Lightfoot and many others. But what song is their absolute favorite that I have to preform every single class? “Let it Be” by The Beatles. Of course they are far too young to know who The Beatles were but I find it interesting that they like this group the best. I suspect it has a lot to do with the lyrics: “ When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me….” Their congregation is called Daughters of Mary.

Oh yes, the other day when the temperature hit 35 and the humidity was nearly 100%… and the power went out, we decided that the classroom was no place to be. We went to a shady spot to sing a few songs. They are all fascinated with the guitar ( not my guitar playing – I am a very average player ) so I asked if anyone wanted to strum while I played the chords. It took some cajoling but one girl finally got the courage to come up. It didn’t take long before the rest of them were lined up waiting their turn. Secretly, I think the Sister supervising them was dying to try it to but declined when offered. These girls may not learn a whole lot of English from me but I believe they will remember the music.

I now have my own office at the convent. I think Sister Archana realized that I needed my own space the other day when the general office, where I do my writing early in the morning, was converted into a confessional. I was unceremoniously thrown out when they decided to have confessions… in the office! I declined the offer to partake. The priest had only so many hours in his day!!!

I had a big dose of home the other evening when Betty Facetimed me from the St. Ninian’s Senior Choir semi annual party. I got to say hello to my friends who occupy “ the loft.” I am looking forward to rejoining them in early May.

There are 2 billion cell phones in the world. I have two of them. One of them acts like a recalcitrant child. ( syn: uncooperative, intractable, obstreperous, truculent, defiant, rebellious, perverse, difficult ). You get the picture. Coming soon, “ Cell mates.”

I am having “ issues” with my computer so if I go on the missing list for a few days , you’ll know why.

Have a great week.

P.S. The fundraising drive has a good head of steam. We’re very close to reaching the halfway point of our $25,000 goal. Still lots of time to donate ( there is no deadline! ). Go to www.week45.com and follow the fundraising link to Daughters of Mary. Thanks to all who have kindly donated already.