Charity Event

Posted on August 14, 2013 under Storytelling with no comments yet

Those of you familiar with my webpage know that I have a separate tab for  charity events which I update periodically. In case you haven’t been there lately ( shocking as this may seem  ), I wanted to use this column to shamelessly promote an event coming up in September. This is to enable my legion of followers in such far flung places as New Zealand, Egypt,  Paris, Edinburgh and Merrill, Wisconsin to book their flights early so that they can get a good seat at the performance!

Phil Milner, my writing colleague and I will be doing an evening of story telling on Thursday, September 26th. at 7:00 p.m. at the auditorium in the Schwartz School of Business at St.F.X. Every penny collected will go to the St. Vincent de Paul, an organization that does fantastic work assisting the poor and needy in the surrounding area.

The facility holds 300 people and our goal is to fill it. Tickets will go on sale at the end of next week and will be available at Brendan’s Fairway, The Tall and Small Café and Brosha’s Short Stoppe.  You can also get tickets from Phil or myself. At $20, surely a bargain for an evening of laughter and all for a good cause. There may be some people who would like to make a donation over and above the cost of the ticket. Members of the board of the charity will be on site and can take your donation and issue you a tax receipt right on the spot.

We will be dusting off some of our favorite stories and reading them aloud. There will be an opportunity for audience participation ( this does not include hurling objects in the general direction of the stage ).

There will be one intermission and we will be providing tea, coffee and water.

Now, here’s where you come in. While we will be publicizing the event through the usual channels, there is no better way of getting the word out than by word of mouth. Please help us promote the event by telling your friends, doing Facebook and Twitter posts or standing on Main Street shouting it out at the top of your lungs. On second thought, you might want to take a pass on the last one or you might get charged under the Town’s noise by-law.

We are both pleased and excited to be doing this event and a full house would be very gratifying. Hope you and your army of friends will attend.

Enjoy this? Visit the rest of my website to enjoy more of my work or buy my books!
Tri Mac Toyota!
Advertisement

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Chequed

Posted on August 13, 2013 under Storytelling with 5 comments

I have made a few mistakes in my day.  I guess that qualifies me as a person who is somewhat normal.  Errors in judgment are common and it is only upon quiet reflection that we see the trouble that we could have avoided.  If only …

Today was one of those days.  My wife had dutifully rolled up all kinds of small coins and asked me to take them to the Credit Union.  En route, a roll of dimes fell to the ground, scattering hither and yon.  The plastic casing they were housed in was destroyed so I soldiered on with fifty dimes in one hand and the other rolled coins in the other.  I entered the Credit Union and my heart sank.  The lineup stretched to the entryway.  It was cheque day.

Back in 1908, the Federal Government introduced the Canada Pension Plan to provide Canadians with   retirement income, provided that they worked and made contributions to the plan.  In 1927, another income support program, Old Age Security, came into being, entitling people who had met residency requirements to receive a guaranteed monthly cheque.  Towards the end of every month, the government issues these cheques and every month seniors clog the premises of financial institutions across the country.

I wasn’t thinking much about the genesis of these programs when I entered the building.  I just knew that I was in for a long wait if I decided to tough it out.  My options were to step outside and fling the fistful of dimes, feigning charity, or carry them back home, a walk of some 2.5 kilometers.  I checked my watch and decided, “What the hell”, and soldiered on inside.

If you think Pamplona, Spain is dangerous during the running of the bulls, just go to any financial institution on cheque day.  Everybody in the lineup has white hair or no hair.  I would like to think of my own coif as a hybrid of the two.  The lineup looks like a box of Q-tips marching toward the tellers … Queue-tips, perhaps.

It is obvious that Christian charity has been deposited outside the front door as seniors jostle for their rightful place in the lineup, especially the low wicket with the armchair specifically set up for seniors with mobility issues.  I understand this concept on most other days but on cheque day, we should all be allowed in that queue.  From all appearances this” seniors’ wicket” should be renamed the “seniors’ wicked”.

I don’t wish to exaggerate but I have been told by some of the tellers that on occasion, seniors nearly come to blows if someone tries to jump the line.  Now I understand the popularity of mixed martial arts (MMA).  Anything goes.

And did I mention privacy?  I am in the financial business and client confidentiality is paramount.  So it seems odd when you hear a customer shouting out his account number and PIN # for everyone within earshot to hear.  However, since most of us in the line have impaired hearing it’s not that big a deal.

And don’t you just love the conversation in the lineup?  It’s a good thing that we have the weather to complain about along with all of our aches and pains.  Sometimes I think that I’ve mistakenly shown up at the ER rather than the Credit Union.

I shouldn’t complain.  In twenty years or so when the last deposit is made (at the cemetery), there won’t be any lineups at financial institutions.  The younger generation does their banking from their smart phones.  When that time comes, I think that the banks should simply convert their buildings to seniors’ residences where the conversation about health and the weather can continue unabated.

 

 

 

 

Enjoy this? Visit the rest of my website to enjoy more of my work or buy my books!
Tri Mac Toyota!
Advertisement

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Last Tango in Toronto

Posted on August 10, 2013 under Storytelling with 2 comments

Tango E

I have always dreamed of flying on Emirates Airlines.  It is supposed to be the best airline in the world, and the most exclusive.  No expense is spared for the super- rich.  Only sheiks, athletes, super models or politicians need apply for passage.  Pampering takes on a whole new meaning.  I am pondering this as I check in for an economy class flight with Tango from Halifax to Edmonton, via Toronto.

I don’t travel enough or fly far enough to warrant first class fare.  In many ways, airline travel has come a long way.  Gone are the days when you would be subjected to a plane full of acrid cigarette smoke and because booze is no longer free, outlandish behaviour has all but been eradicated.  Flights, more or less, take off and arrive on time.  Sometimes more, sometimes less.

But no matter how you cut it, flying economy is still a stigmatizing experience.

One of the first things they do at an airport is scan the barcode on your boarding pass.  I often wondered why this was done and after exhaustive research, I can tell you.  The barcode sends a secret message throughout the entire airline network that I am a regular Joe.   An “economy” passenger.

I tested my theory today.  When we arrived at the airport and I asked the ticket agent if my bags would be checked through to Edmonton, she giggled.  When she put the smiley face on my bag along with a sticker that said “good luck, sucker”, I knew my fate was sealed.  We went through security flawlessly although they questioned me about the lucky marble in my pants pocket.  I didn’t see this as a threat to national security.

The flight to Toronto was uneventful.  Many of the other passengers connecting to Edmonton were Maritimers, probably heading for Fort Mac.  A quiet group; I suspect that they are a bit rowdier on the return trip back east.

We had time to kill at Pearson so I opened my laptop to do a bit of work.  I was sitting in an area that obviously had WI FI capacity, as many well-dressed business types were madly pecking away at their keyboards and checking e-mails.  It appeared that I was connected but all attempts to get on line were thwarted.  An error code flashed up on a screen accompanied by another smiley face.  My blood began to boil.

And then it was time to board the plane for the second leg of the trip.  The announcement came over the public address system: “Would all Elite, Super Elite, Super Duper Elite, Executive Class, Gold and Platinum members please proceed to the Priority Boarding Red Carpet”.  The rest of the cattle were herded in a separate lineup.   I fully expected the executive class people to be going to a separate airplane.

Did I mention that I was travelling with my guitar?  We ran the gauntlet through the first class passengers nursing their pre-flight drinks.  Our seats were at the very back of the plane, near the Manitoba border.  At least we were close to the washrooms, which is always a blessing on a long trip.  The flight attendant told me that I would have to play her a tune if I wished to use the bathroom.

We enjoyed a gourmet meal of water after hearing the chief steward announce to anyone who cared that those in executive class would be receiving their hot meal shortly.

The plane landed and I am reasonably sure that the Elites were already on their connecting flight to somewhere exotic by the time the last of the cattle (us) disembarked from the plane.

I didn’t bother to check and see if my luggage had arrived.

Enjoy this? Visit the rest of my website to enjoy more of my work or buy my books!
Tri Mac Toyota!
Advertisement

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.