Posted on September 10, 2025 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with no comments yet

No shower in the forecast

 

“I’ve been waiting, for a girl like you,

To come into my life.”

Waiting For a Girl Like You – Foreigner

Watching paint dry: Part 3

But wait. There’s more.

Ah! You’re showing your age if you recognize this famous tag line. How many of you knew instantly that this was the iconic pitch line of K-Tel? Millennials and Gen- Xers will just have to Google this.

If you haven’t read my two previous posts, this one won’t make much sense, dear reader. Truthfully, the other two didn’t make a lot of sense either.

I’m back in Victoria.

“But Len. You were there just a few weeks ago. What could possibly entice you to return so soon, even if the Air Canada strike was resolved?

A woman.

But before I tell you about the woman, first a brief anecdote from my plane trip. I travelled on Porter and after this experience, I doubt if I’ll use any other domestic airline.

A parent came down the aisle with two young teenagers in tow. They had identical hard shelled carryon bags, cherry red in color. The parent lifted the first one into the overhead bin. The handle was pointing out preventing the bin from closing. Craftily, they turned the bag sideways and, presto, it fit nicely. The parent lifted the second bag and placed it beside its twin, handle out. After careful consideration, the second bag was aligned with the other and the bin could now be closed.

The parent now crossed the aisle to put the third, and last bag, in the overhead bin. Handle out.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

I digress.

A woman.

Smart. Talented. Athletic. Sure and confident.

On my previous visit a fortnight ago, I discovered that Carly was a professional athletic therapist. Her impressive resume includes several years working with athletes at MacMaster University and seven years with the Hamilton Tiger Cats of the CFL, five of those as Head Athletic Therapist. She helped the team reach two Grey Cups. Her husband, Tim, played professional football in the CFL winning the Grey Cup when he was playing for the Calgary Stampeders.

The arm that I broke in early April crossing the Pyrenees… That would have made a compelling story but in fact, I tripped in the parking lot outside Sobey’s and fell on the sidewalk. The humerus bone has healed nicely but I ended up with frozen shoulder. I also suffer from frozen brain, but I don’t think she can help me with this.

She treated my arm twice before I flew home few weeks ago. I noticed an immediate improvement and decided that it was worth a trip back to receive intensive therapy for a month.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………My son, Peter, lives on the same acreage as Carly and Tim along with a few other families. I often call it “the commune”. One of the interesting features is an outdoor shower. It is located under a massive arbutus tree, a few feet away from Carly’s home office and the chicken coop. Even though Pete has a shower in his cabin, I was encouraged to try the outdoor shower once before I left for home.

It was a warm and windy day when I stepped inside the small wooden structure. It was simply divine. I’m no prude but the door to the shower kept opening due to the wind. I wasn’t worried about the hens being peeping Tom’s. I closed the door tightly and soon realized that the latch was on the outside of the building. “Grin and bare it,” I thought.

After finishing my ablutions, I realized that getting out might be a problem. Yelling would do me little good, other than ruffling a few feathers a stone’s throw away. I eventually stood on my tippy toes and with my good arm, was able to reach over the top and unhook the latch.

I saved myself from an embarrassing situation. Yes. I knew you would get it!

The paint is dry, but it might require a second coat.

Stay tuned.

“But wait. There’s more”.

Have a great weekend.

P.S. As a tribute to my late friend, Dan O’Connell, I decided to take a stab at the New York Times crossword puzzle. I used to get the weekend edition of the Globe and Mail on a regular basis but consume most of my news online these days. The last time I remember buying a copy of the Globe it was $3.50. This time around, it set me back $8.40. You’re worth it Dan!

 

 

 

 

Posted on September 3, 2025 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with no comments yet

Trails and tales

Watching paint dry. Part 2

After a long day of travel, I arrived in Victoria. Metchosin to be more precise. My son, Peter, lives on a very unique property in the country. The land is very rugged surrounded by old growth forests and only a drive and a 5-iron from the marina at Pedder Bay. It was once a farm owned by a legendary woman who raised animals and had large gardens. She was called “The Cougar Lady”, as she hunted cougars who were killing cattle and other livestock at other farms in the region.

By the time I crawled into bed, I had been on the go for 22 hours. Just before I turned in, Peter asked me if I would like to go salmon fishing very early the following morning as conditions in the Juan de Fuca Strait were supposed to be ideal. To be honest, I wasn’t totally enamored with the thought of an early morning wakeup call.

As promised, it was a spectacular morning. As we pulled out into the strait, the fog was lifting over snowcapped mountains across the water in Washington state. There were dozens of other boats plying the waters, many of them very expensive with the best of modern equipment. Peter’s boat was a modest 18-footer.

We arrived at Beechy Head, one of the most popular spots in this part of the strait. You could tell that there was a lot of action as other boats were landing fish. Suddenly, one of Pete’s rods started to bend precipitously. “Dad. Grab the wheel.” I was now the skipper. After a healthy battle, Pete landed a 12-pound chinook salmon. His wide grin said it all. Not long after, he landed another chinook, this one larger than the first. Sadly, chinook #1, was lying lifeless at the back of the boat and with a one fish limit of this particular species, #2 was returned to the briny ocean tossed.

Five hours later, we returned to port with one chinook and three pink salmon. Pete said it was one of his most successful outings. I think it had something to do with the skipper! Pete prepared a delicious salmon dinner that evening.

I spent the rest of my time on the west coast going for long walks and having my morning coffee at the Pedder Bay marina.

After a week in paradise, I was heading for Northern Alberta. In 1978-79, I was the principal of a small, rural school in Whitelaw. The village was about to celebrate its 100 anniversary of incorporation and some of my former students had reached out to see if I might come up for the festivities. These students were 11- and 12-year-olds back then and many are now grandparents. Tempus fugit.

There was a lot of chatter in the media about a possible work stoppage at Air Canada. I was booked on that airline to go to Calgary and then Grande Prairie where I was to be picked up by a former student. I made it to Calgary and as I was waiting to board, I received a notification from AC that a strike was likely and anyone having flights booked in the next four days would have to decide what they were going to do. My return flight from the north to Halifax was on the 4^th day.

If the strike happened and there was a prolonged stoppage, I thought that getting out of the north would be a challenge. Thirty minutes before my flight boarded, I rushed down to Westjet to see what a ticket would cost if the AC strike went ahead. They were asking $1700 for a one-way flight from Grande Prairie and that was if I could get a ticket 4 days hence.

I went up to the Air Canada agent at my gate and asked if there was any way that they could get me home that day. A very pleasant agent was on the phone to a colleague and 15 minutes before getting on my flight to G.P., I pulled the plug when I secured a seat on the red eye that night.

I flew to Toronto overnight and boarded my flight to Halifax the next morning. Several Air Canada flights were already cancelled. A mechanical problem (they had to replace the front tire) had us on the tarmac for 2 hours. I had my fingers crossed that we would get in the air before a strike was called, which it was later that day. During that 2-hour hiatus, the attendants worked very hard trying to keep customers happy. One of them leaned into our aisle and whispered, “This is why we’re going on strike. We don’t get paid for these two hours.”

I was a pretty happy camper to get back home.

However, the story doesn’t end here.

To be continued.

The paint is almost dry!

Have a great weekend.

Posted on August 27, 2025 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with no comments yet

Travels to paradise

 

“All my bags are packed and I’m ready to go.”

Leaving on a Jet Plane – John Denver

An uber experience.

Once upon a time, the word “uber” denoted an outstanding or supreme example of a particular kind of person or thing.

When a car shows up outside your door at 3:17 a.m., Uber takes on a whole new meaning.

The summer is winding down. The back-to-school frenzy has started in earnest, and the Exhibition will be rolling into town shortly. The days are getting cooler but not too cool. However, I was at Costco last week and (I’m not lying), they had a big display of Christmas decorations. Christmas. Really? In the middle of August?

So, what did you do on your summer vacation? When we were children, a gazillion years ago, we routinely had to write an essay sometime in the first week back at school, chronicling our enormously exciting summer holidays.

I am going to channel my inner child and tell you all of the exciting things that happened to me during a visit with my son in Victoria- Metchosin, to be exact. If you enjoy watching someone else’s 1960’s home movies with their Super 8 film, or if you like watching paint dry, then read on.

The only people on this planet that I know who show up early for everything are my brothers and sisters. Let me add one more person – the Uber driver who took me to Stanfield airport a few weeks ago. I had booked the ride the previous night knowing that I had to be at the airport for a 5:15 a.m. flight. I asked to be picked up at 3:20 and had my alarm set for 3:15, just enough time to get dressed. My alarm went off at 3:15 and I saw a message that my ride would be arriving in 2 minutes. We departed at 3:17 and arrived at the airport 18 minutes later (I was staying at my sister’s house in Bedford).

I played “the old man with a broken arm” card at check-in and an agent had my boarding passes and luggage tag ready in mere minutes. He even took my suitcase to the baggage drop. There was no lineup at security and at 3:48, exactly 31 minutes after my alarm went off, I was at my departure gate. I plan to report this astonishing feat to Guiness.

The first flight to Toronto was uneventful.

The second flight was direct to Victoria.

We boarded the plane. I took my customary aisle seat (It’s easier to get to the washroom without having to do calisthenics, if you happen to get a window seat).

An older couple (they were likely my age!) approached Row 22. I got up to let the lady get into her seat next to the window. However, her hubby somehow managed to get the strap of his carry-on bag caught on the armrest of the seat directly in front of me. It took more than a few tries to extricate the strap with the assistance of a flight attendant. The fellow in the aisle seat across the aisle was a character. “Is everyone excited to be going to New Brunswick?” Several people scrambled to get their boarding passes. He was having a great laugh.

I grabbed my Grisham book and settled in for some courtroom drama.

Little did I know that a small drama was unfolding to my right. The man in the middle seat pulled out a crossword puzzle and a sudoku that he had obviously torn out of a newspaper. It was also obvious that this was not the original voyage for these puzzles. They were crumpled up as if he had been sitting on them on a flight from Hong Kong.

He grabbed his pen and started to work on the sudoku. We were at cruising speed somewhere over the Great Lakes when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. My immediate reaction is that this old guy, like me, was a frequent flyer to the washroom. Not so. He had fallen asleep. I gave him a gentle nudge, and he was immediately back on track. Half an hour later, he once again landed on my shoulder. This time he was out cold. His wife was also getting some shut eye.

I started humming a few bars of Paul Anka’s classic “Put Your Head on My Shoulder”.

As his head nestled on my clavicle, I had this overpowering urge to gently remove the pen from his hand and finish the sudoku. Can you imagine his surprise waking up somewhere over the Rockies to find that he had been able to complete a puzzle while unconscious.

When he woke up, he needed to go to the washroom. After flying for over 50 years, I finally discovered the button underneath the armrest to my left to enable me to lift it, making his egress much simpler. He was gone for over 20 minutes, and his wife was quite concerned. I stood up and there her husband stood at the back of the plane waving to me. Turns out he had a bad back and needed to stand for a while.

We landed in lotus land five hours later.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Have a great weekend.