Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom (And Whimsy)

Posted on May 28, 2025 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with one comment

The spirit is willing but…

 

“It’s a heartache,

Nothing but a headache,

Could have been a toothache,

Hits you when you’re down”.

With apologies to Bonnie Tyler.

“Love hurts”. Nazareth.

So do my lower back and my arm.

It would appear that the warranty is set to expire. Do you remember when you were perfectly healthy? When you were lean and fit and you had all your hair and your wits about you? When all your body parts were functioning at their optimum? When you were sure footed and confident? When you could recite Abou Ben Adhem in its entirety?

Come to think of it, neither can I.

These days, there are times I can’t remember why I went into the kitchen.

We used to recite the Litany of the Saints in our childhood when we said the rosary. It is a traditional prayer that calls upon the Blessed Virgin Mary, the saints, and the angels for intercession, asking for mercy. Our litany is now one of ailments, when we call upon doctors, podiatrists, chiropractors, massage therapists, acupuncturists, plastic surgeons and many others for their intercession.

When I was a teenager, we sat on the railings outside the bowling alleys and talked about sports, cars, and girls. Not necessarily in that order.

When I was a young man we talked about university, careers, and travel.

As newlyweds, we talked about the price of pampers, car seats, and ear infections.

As we got older, we talked about RRSP’s, paying off the mortgage, and the prospects of retiring.

We retired and talked about a life of leisure, golfing, fishing, going on river cruises and spending quality time with our grandchildren.

Now we’re old.

Stop in at McDonald’s on any given morning, or your local coffee shop and you will invariably see a group of gray haired folks. There is probably a 99% chance that the bulk of the conversation revolves about health or lack thereof. The other 1% is about the Leaf’s playoff futility.

I once thought that the only place that had a parts department was an automobile dealership. Eavesdrop for a few minutes. “New knee.” New hip.” “New heart.” It’s a wonder that screening devices at airports are not chirping every minute of the day as titanium filled seniors pass through the metal detectors.

I am blessed to have a lot of friends and other than my children and grandchildren, most of them are older. Birds of a feather flock together. Sadly, many of those friends have already “flown the coop”. The last six people that I talked to? Torn meniscus; incurable itch over the entire body; two hip replacements; memory issues; bypass surgery and prostate cancer.

Yes indeed. If we ever needed the power of saints and angels, it is now when we’re in the late innings. However, in our case, it might be dubbed “The Litany of the Aint’s”. We ain’t doing all that great.

However, despite all of our collective aches and pains, we’re still trucking along, making the best of the time that’s left.

“Now I’m old and tired, bent and busted, gray and wrinkled and I can’t be trusted…”

Dirty Old Man – Valdy

There are days that I feel old and tired, bent and busted. I’m definitely gray and wrinkled.

I had a new walk-in shower installed last week. I was having trouble getting in and out of the tub. Waiting for the paint to dry and the caulking to be finished, I wasn’t able to shower for several days. One explanation of a “dirty old man”.

I am proposing a new television show. It will be called “What Ails You?”

It’s bound to be a smash hit with tens of millions of boomers with something to complain about.

Me? I’ll just grab a cold beer.

That’s what ales me!

When my mother was well into her 80s, she often commented that she didn’t feel her age.

However, she also had a cushion on her sofa that said, “Screw The Golden Years”.

I guess you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Have a great weekend.