Posted on September 19, 2013 under Thursday Tidbits with one comment

Note to self. DO NOT ever write a story about politics again. Ever. In the story, “Playing in the Mud”, I wrote about voter apathy. Well, my hunch is that once people saw the picture of campaign signs at the top of my story, they immediately went somewhere else on Facebook or chose to do the laundry. Really folks, the story wasn’t that bad but only a small number of people read this one. Oh well, live and learn.

The next story, coming Saturday is about pianos and divorce. Have you ever tried to move a piano? Have you ever tried to move a piano in the throes of a divorce? And just how, pray tell, do you equally divide that asset? Does one spouse get to keep the white keys and the other one , the blacks? This is actually a true story with only the slightest hint of embellishment. It’s called “Playing the Same Tune.”

As many of you know, I’m always ranting on and on about wellness. I speak often of the merits of diet and exercise. While I no longer run marathons, I still keep active mainly by walking. So my good friend, Matt MacDonald, or “Matt the Mover” as I like to call him, convinced me to start wearing a pedometer to count the number of steps I take each day. ( I have been averaging around 12,000 ). Like the calendars I use for 30 day challenges, it is another way to make oneself accountable and conscious of their health. My wife noticed me wearing the device, clipped to my belt. And, wait for this, she told me that researchers in Edinburgh , Scotland have just done research with cattle who were hooked up to pedometers. I am not lying. I mean, everyone  is into fitness by the sounds of it. I haven’t written the story yet but the ideas are swishing around in my head like a cow’s tails. I wonder if unfit cows are put out to pasture?

I have just about decided on the title for the book and you’ll be the first to know. My website is being redesigned and I hope to unveil the title and the cover of the book by the beginning of October. I know you are breathlessly waiting.

We’ve got some really good momentum going with ticket sales for the fundraiser next Thursday the 26th.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Posted on September 17, 2013 under Storytelling with no comments yet

Ah, the good old days when the air was clean and sex was dirty.  Those were the days, when having fun for a kid consisted of climbing trees, riding a bike or playing a game of ball in a field.  But before all this came the sandbox.  This is where we started to learn about socializing, cooperation, and sharing.  It is also the place where future bullies learned about throwing sand in other people’s faces.  And when the rains came, these kids made mud pies and threw them at others.

And then they grew up and became politicians.

Politics has always been a blood sport and, as the expression goes, “If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen”.   I had a fleeting taste of the nectar that is politics, having been elected three times as a municipal councillor.  What were the good citizens of Antigonish thinking when they chose an old hippie to lead them on the path of righteousness?

Not very much, I guess!

I remember the very first time I ran for public office.  I was a real neophyte so I enlisted the support of a handful of political types to teach me the ropes.  Compared to provincial and federal politics, municipal politics is child’s play.  I insisted to my team that we play by the rules at all times.  A few nights before the election, we held a meeting of my team to go over our Election Day strategy.  The polls were open from 8 AM-8PM.  After I exhorted everyone to be respectful of the regulations, one member of the team we’ll call J. piped up. “I will play by your rules from 8AM until 6PM.  After that we’ll play by my rules.”

At about 6:02 p.m. the first of many people, reeking of beer, showed up at the polling station.  They came right up to me and said, “J. sent me”.  I think I know where J. had found them.

Pretty innocent stuff.

Following the lead of our dear neighbors to the south, Canadian politics has turned nasty and vile.  No longer is it acceptable for a candidate to stand up to say what he or she “would do for their country.” No, now our future leaders want you to go out in the backyard with them and watch as they fling mud balls at each other.

The exception to this rule might be in our riding where the discourse is quite civil.

Are you surprised that voter apathy is at an all-time high and that voter turnout is at an all-time low?  Are you surprised that we get the governments we deserve as a result of this apathy?

I’ve been told by many a politician that attack ads work.  All they do is compel me to vote for any party but the one behind these contemptible commercials.  I’ll support anyone who will walk the high road on this one.

It is time for people to collectively put on their Peter Finch outfits, stand in the middle of the Trans-Canada Highway and yell at the top of their lungs “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore.”

Where is Tuxedo Stan when you need him?

( Tuxedo Stan was a cat that ran for the Mayor of Halifax. RIP, Stan )

Posted on September 16, 2013 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

Honestly. I have made every attempt to be politically correct over the past year. I have tried to avoid demeaning remarks and cheap shots. After all, my intent is to entertain and not provoke or inflame. I saw a comment on Facebook on the weekend that caught my eye. A friend from Halifax was expressing disgust and outrage at the level of discourse from our provincial politicians who are in the throes of an election. The negative advertising which is so pervasive in the United States  has crept into Canadian politics and it’s not going down so well. When I saw the comment I felt I had to weigh in so I immediately penned a new story called “Playing in the Mud.” Coming soon.

I was at a family dinner yesterday and heard a story that I thought was hilarious. It was about a couple who were going through an acrimonious divorce. That’s no laughing matter but when it came to dividing assets, they reached an impasse over the piano. “Playing the Same Tune” takes a look at what happened to the piano. Not an easy thing to divide.

I have submitted the last of my stories to the editor of my book and we’re still hoping to publish in late October. In addition to the paperback version, I am hoping to make it available as an e-book.

I am also working with a web designer and you should see a new look in the not too distant future.

Phil and I did a dry run of our upcoming show at a local senior’s apartment building this past Thursday. We had a great turnout and were well received. I have a few surprises up my sleeve for the big event.

Have a great week.