Posted on March 16, 2015 under Monday Morning Musings with 2 comments

Even the funeral home sign is buried in snow

 

 

Last Friday, after landing on my arse for the third time this winter, it hit me like a bolt of thunder ( or a lightning strike! ). I am retiring in June and was thinking about writing full time but now I am convinced of my new calling:  weather forecasting.

I mean no respect to Kalin and Cindy but last Thursday’s forecast of a “light dusting of snow,” which dropped over a foot of the powdery stuff, left me scratching my bald head.

Why couldn’t I be a weatherman? I played “pin the tail on the donkey” as a kid and even when I put the tail on the donkey’s face, I still got treats. Even when a weather person is completely wrong, they still get to keep their jobs ( like a kid gets to keep a loot bag at the birthday party even when they couldn’t pin the tail…). If I can take a wild assed stab at a donkey’s butt, then surely I can predict the weather.

So here’s my plan. I will attend a one day course at a community college somewhere , which will arm me with the tools of the trade. I figure I can guess with the best of them. The letter of the day of the week will determine my forecast so Monday will be “Mild.” Tuesday, we can expect a “ Tornado.” Wednesday will be “Windy.“Thursday,  I will be calling for a “Tsunami.” Friday, will be “Frigid.” Saturday will be “Sunny,”  and Sunday , we’ll likely have “Sleet.”

See. It’s easy being a forecaster. Your guess ( and mine ) are as good as the experts!

Is that enough sarcasm to start your day?

And while I’m on a weather rant, this week’s Casket story which will also appear here on Wednesday, is a weather  story. It’s called “ Don’t Rain ( or Snow or Hail ) on my Parade.” We would all concur that it’s been a tough winter. The amount of ice has been incredible making it very difficult to get around. There have been shortages of salt and sand so people have had to improvise. I won’t let the cat out of the bag. Stay tuned.

Here’s a reminder of an event coming up later this week. Friday the 20^th. is the first day of spring so why don’t you grab some friends, hop in the car and come and join me at the Days Gone By Restaurant in Guysborough. We’re going to have supper around 5:00 p.m. and at 6:00 I will be reading a few stories from my new book and singing a few tunes. I will be donating a portion of book sales to GOALS ( Guysborough Options For Adaptive Living Society ). If you’re thinking of going ( the forecast looks good ), you might want to call and reserve a table at the restaurant only seats 40. Call 902-533-2762.

One of the stories I wrote on my recent road trip, “ No Fuelling Around” will be featured in an upcoming edition of the CAA ( Canadian Automobile Association ) magazine – online version.

The other day , I was handed the outline of a story from a senior citizen. She asked me if I could dress it up a bit. A bagpiper is asked to play at a committal ceremony for a homeless person. Now this doesn’t sound like it has the makings of a humour story, but , trust me, it does. Coming soon, “The Pipes Are Calling.”

Have a great week.

Posted on March 9, 2015 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

Near the Chinese Cemetery – Victoria, B.C.

( Peter MacDonald photo )

We’re just about through “storm chip season.” And thank goodness for that. I’m not concerned about another couple of storms but the thought of trotting back to the grocery store to get the “2 bags for $ 5.00 special,” is troubling. My potato chip intake index ( pcii ) has reached record levels, just like the Nasdaq did 15 years.  I am equally troubled by something else. Do you remember the days when a bag of chips was a bag of chips? I’m talking about a full bag. We have been duped into believing that we are getting a deal on chips when , in fact, we are paying more for less. After all, half of the bag is now filled with air. Yeah, yeah, it probably has something to do with giving the chips a longer shelf life but I ain’t buying that line of argument.

And why am I on this particular little rant? The short answer is toilet paper. Apologies to some of you who have recently signed up for Week45 but on Mondays and Thursdays , I just drone on about life’s little quirks.

So , a buddy of mine was telling me about a recent trip to the grocery store where he discovered that a posted sale on toilet paper was erroneous. What was being touted as a bargain was no bargain when he did some quick mental arithmetic. He brought this to the attention of the store manager and walked out with two additional rolls. Well, then I got to thinking, which is always a perilous road to go down. Some of the advertising in grocery stores is often downright weird. The sign above the tomatoes clearly says “ product of Canada” and each of the beautifully ripened tomatoes has a small sticker that says “product of Mexico.” Duh?

I’m not accusing stores of false advertising. I have enough trouble with shopping ( another common theme in my stories ) without adding this layer of confusion. So rather than being charged for libel, I decided to write a light hearted story. It’s called “ More or Less” and will be appearing right here in a few day’s time.

I wrote two new stories on the weekend. One was about a trip I took to Montreal in 1971 to see a Montreal Canadiens hockey game. We encountered the “storm of the century” en route. Luckily, we were travelling by train. Some of you will remember that golden era when you could get on the train in Antigonish and be deposited underneath the Queen Elizabeth Hotel in downtown Montreal. The city was paralyzed when we got there and we ended up staying at the Q.E…. on the very day that Pierre Elliott Trudeau got married. The story is called “The Habs and the Hab Nots.” Coming soon.

Tomorrow my long awaited story (!) on aging will be published. It’s called “When I’m 64.”

And finally, two brief announcements.  If any of you love the People’s Place Library in Antigonish ( recently voted as the “best public space in Canada” ), you can show that love by making a tax deductible contribution to a fundraising campaign being launched this week by Friends of Antigonish Library ( FOAL ). I am on the Board of FOAL and we raise money for the library for new acquisitions, furnishings etc. If you feel compelled to donate, see me or go to the website for the Pictou Antigonish regional Library and hit the “donate” button. http://www.parl.ns.ca/.

“Spring into Spring.” Grab a friend and join me at Days Gone By Restaurant in Guysborough on Friday, March 20^th. between 5-7 P.M. It’s the first day of Spring and I will be doing a show of music and story telling.

Have a great week.

Posted on March 2, 2015 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

The old lift hut at The Keppoch

 

 

Hope that everyone enjoyed a weekend free of precipitation. The roads and sidewalks are becoming passable and everyone’s mood is just a bit better now that February is in the rear view mirror. It was a pretty tough month weather wise but now the days are stretching out and spring can’t be too far away.

I admit that I have taken two decent spills on the ice and I’m sure I have company. I was chatting with someone the other day about road conditions in the county and he mentioned an innovative solution when you run out of salt and sand. I was so taken with his description that I felt compelled to write a story. It’s called “Littering The Ice” and will be appearing soon on my website.

My Casket story this week is about high school graduations… then and now. Back in 1970, 62 brave souls crossed the stage at the St.Ninian Culture and Recreation Centre” , more commonly referred to as the “Parish Centre” or simply “the Centre.” I could write an entire book about “the centre” as it was the major hub of activity for young people back in the 60’s. Graduation was a simple low key affair 45 years ago. “Forty – Five Years From Now” will also be published here on Wednesday.

The other story still in the queue awaiting editing is called “ My Cup Runneth Over ( Bra Beaten ). “ I have a suspicion that the editor (!) might be making some changes to this one. It is a story about laundry and is a guide for men who have the nerve to launder their spouse’s clothing… and not just any clothing!

I wanted to take a moment to thank all of the good folks who volunteer their time for the Hot Meal program at St. James United Church. Every Tuesday and Thursday, somewhere  between 35-60 people are fed a hot meal at noon hour. Most of us take food for granted but lots of people struggle putting food on the table.

As mentioned in an earlier post, I am on the board of Friends of Antigonish Library. ( FOAL ). Our very own People’s Place library recently received its award as “best public space in Canada.” Libraries are chronically underfunded and ours is no different.

Friends of Antigonish Library ( FOAL ) supports the library through advocacy and fundraising for collections. We are embarking on a modest financial campaign ( $7500 ) to raise money for the library. If anyone would like to make a donation ( tax deductible ) please get in touch with me.

We had an awesome Sunday afternoon snow shoeing at the Keppoch. It was a perfect day. John Chiasson and his team of volunteers have done an amazing job bringing the Keppoch back to life.

Have a great week.