Posted on October 29, 2018 under Monday Morning Musings with one comment

Warning: Sarcasm Ahead

 

“The whole world’s goin’ crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy,

Hey baby, you wanna go crazy with me.”

The Whole World’s Goin’ Crazy. April Wine

Give your head a shake.

Make that a double-double.

Absurdity. Ab.surd.i.ty. Noun. The quality or state of being ridiculous or wildly unreasonable.

Do you remember when Facebook was just like a small boutique store on your Main Street? It was a place where you could find quality if not quantity and you knew the staff and they knew you. These days, Facebook more often resembles the Wagon Wheel Flea Market in Pinellas Park, Florida. The Wagon Wheel “rests on 125 acres and hosts nearly 2000 booths.” If you can’t find what you need here, jump aboard the next shuttle to Mars.

I am in no way slighting FB. It’s just that one’s head can get dizzy trying to absorb the onslaught of information. Once in a while, something catches my attention and causes my head to rotate on its axis. It would appear that a local coffee purveyor is in trouble with its loyal clientele. They are quite annoyed that there are too many choices at the drive thru causing congestion and delay, not to mention tons of exhaust going into the ozone.

Indeed. What an outrage. At the same time that I was watching people weighing in with a growing chorus of discontent, I happened to be doing some editing on my upcoming book on my travels in India. Crowded drive thrus are not a big issue in that country. Hunger, poverty and homelessness are the reality for millions of its citizenry.

Talk about first world problems.

I have given the issue considerable thought and have come up with three possible solutions. Twinning of our highways is a major priority. Why couldn’t the coffee establishment do some twinning of its own and just add a second “quick checkout” lane? I’m joking, sort of. The second is a time tested approach. How about actually getting out of the vehicle and walking inside the store when the lineups get too long? I’ve saved my best idea for last. It’s quite novel and might put me in line for a Nobel Peace Prize. You can actually purchase the franchise’s coffee and (gasp) make the identical cup of coffee at home at a fraction of the price. But in order to do this, you’ll either have to sit in the lineup and order a bag of java or haul your arse out of your rig and go inside the store and purchase it there.

Oh, yes. I go by said establishment every morning on my walk. I want to make it abundantly clear that this business is a terrific corporate citizen and I heartily applaud their community-mindedness. When I cross James Street, I look in every direction at least three times. I have been nearly run over in the crosswalk multiple times as vehicles rush to get into the drive thru lineup so that they can sit and wait.

Yours truly.

Old, cranky, and sarcastic.

Have a great week.

Posted on October 22, 2018 under Monday Morning Musings with 2 comments

Weed… Man

 

If clichés make you cringe or if one more marijuana story will make your eyes glaze over, you might want to skip the first section of my Monday Musings.

And remember. No potshots.

“This Bud’s for you.”

For years (it still might be), this was the tag line for Budweiser beer. Move over you suds swillers, here come the potheads to steal your thunder and maybe your tagline. I promise you this will be the last time I mention the legalization of cannabis. I don’t want your heads to explode. Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of math calculations. Here’s one to ponder. On day one, October 17^th total sales of cannabis and related products in the province of Nova Scotia were $660,000. If each consumer spent $50 that means 13,200 people probably lit up that day.

Some of that money was spent here in Antigonish according to sources who parked outside the NSLC to witness history in the making. Seeing that the Antigonish store is traditionally one of the highest per capita revenue stores in the province (possibly the universe!)for alcoholic beverages, this should come as no surprise.

My sources tell me that every walk of life was seen lining up, with some of the older crowd humming a few bars of Brewer and Shipley’s “One Toke Over The Line”. Is it possible that The Doobie Brothers will be making a comeback? The younger crowd were likely Green Day fans.

Weed Man, the lawn care company might require a rebranding exercise.

One wonders if the Federal Government thought this strategy through carefully. They may discover that there are a myriad of unintended consequences. For example, what about the already depleted ozone layer? If it’s ok to smoke out in the open rather than in your hermetically sealed bunker in your apartment, won’t this just add to our environmental woes? And have you seen the packaging? I haven’t but I saw a video on Facebook. A gram of marijuana comes in a box that would make Birks Jewelers envious and inside the box there is a plastic container that could substitute for a Tylenol bottle. Do the multiplier on this and you have an enormous amount of new recyclables.

The good news is that legalization will spawn a new generation of stoner songs. No longer will we have to lean on those old standbys like “Coming into Los Angeles” and “You don’t Know How It feels” to get our fix. Even Darius Rucker’s Wagon Wheel might need an upgrade. “Walkin to the south, out of Roanoke; caught a trucker out of Philly, had a nice long toke.”

I was chatting with a 90 something woman the other day. I asked her what she thought about the legalization issue. “For God’s sake, what’s all the fuss about? It should have been legalized a long time ago.” I’ll give her the last word.

Amen.

Two more things to ponder the next time you take your spare change to the Credit Union to put in the change counting machine. You’ll have to save a lot of money to match these numbers:

LeBron James, the star NBA basketball phenom, has a contract that pays him $163,000,000 over four years or $40,750,000 a year. With an 82 game schedule he earns $496,951.22 every time he suits up for the L.A.Lakers.  A regulation NBA game is 48 minutes so Mr.James earns$10,353.15 each and every minute that he runs up and down the court.

And if you think this is hard to get your head around, there is a lottery in the U.S where the winning prize is projected at more than $900,000,000 and might even hit one billion dollars. Seriously, what would Joe Schmo do if he won a billion dollars?

The world has indeed gone mad except here in Canada where cooler heads (potheads) prevail.

Have a great week.

 

Posted on October 15, 2018 under Monday Morning Musings with one comment

In 2 days, it all goes up in smoke

 

Something is terribly wrong.

Does the world seem off kilter to you?  There are natural disasters and extreme weather events with every turn of the page. Democracy seems to be in peril. Capitalism is facing challenges.  Social media seems to bombard us with bad news stories with a ratio of 100 to 1 good stories. Like Anne Murray once crooned, “Sure could use a little good news today.”

Today’s musings are about capitalism and poverty. They seem like an odd couple. That’s because they are.  I am not anti capitalism. But I am very much anti-poverty.

I am helping to organize a discussion on poverty tomorrow evening, October 16^th. from 6:00-8:30 p.m. at People’s Place Library. You are welcome to come and add your voice to the discussion. You might be surprised at the high levels of poverty in a community that appears to have everything.

A news story, actually a sports story, caught my eye the other day that made me think of that old April Wine song, “The Whole World’s Going Crazy.” I’m not going to get into a debate about salaries for professional athletes. Sports are entertainment and entertainment is big business. Historically, athletes got a raw deal from team owners but today any decent pro athlete who can walk and chew gum commands a seven figure income.

A current NBA (National Basketball Association) player is in a snit. I won’t mention his name so that he doesn’t receive hundreds of tweets from Nova Scotia. He is annoyed that his team’s ownership only offered him a 4 year, $110,000,000 contract extension. Yes. One hundred and ten million dollars.

Let’s break this down. On a yearly basis (had he accepted this deal), he would earn $27,500,000. A regular NBA schedule has 82 games so every time he dons a jersey; he is guaranteed to make $335,365. A regulation NBA basketball game is 48 minutes long. Very few players play the entire game but let’s be generous and say that this particular athlete is a super hero and plays every minute of every game. This means that he earns $6,986 each minute. On a per second basis this comes to $116. In the time it takes him to tie one of his sneakers (roughly 7 seconds) he earns more than a single person on income assistance in the province of Nova Scotia for a month.

I am not going to suggest that a professional athlete is not worth this kind of money, such is the nature of capitalism. This is an over exaggerated demonstration of the disparity between the rich and the poor but most would agree that globally, the chasm between the poor and the well to do is ever widening. I think we will continue to see the consequences of this inequity.

The meeting tomorrow evening will NOT be examining NBA contracts. Poverty is an extremely complex topic and we’re not likely to solve it in 2.5 hours. But we can pool our collective wisdom and see if we can tackle some of the root causes.

Ok. Here’s the big reveal. My fourth book is within a few months of publication and I have a title: “Chaos and Wonder: Six Months in India.” All of the pieces are coming together including the cover which is being designed by Jean Pearcey (https://www.jeaniousdesign.ca/). I will be donating all of the proceeds from the book to my friends in India, The Daughters of Mary. Many of you know that I spent four months volunteering with the Sisters. They are remarkable women doing incredible things with limited resources to help the plight of the poor.

Have a great weekend.

P.S. Gillis MacKinnon (R.I.P.) used to let us in the Parish Centre after hours to shoot hoops. I’m thinking that I just might give the NBA another shot!