Privacy in the Privy
Posted on June 14, 2014 under Storytelling with no comments yet
Locked in the loo
It is Lord Baden-Powell who gets credit for the famous Boy Scout’s motto: “Be prepared”
My wife would be one of those people that Baden-Powell would absolutely adore. She pays attention to detail and she heeds weather warnings with the best of them. When there is a threat of a power outage due to an impending storm (hurricanes are her favorite), she goes all out to make sure that our household is adequately equipped, should the blackout last several days. She gets out the candles and candle holders. She gets every flashlight and checks the batteries. She brings in enough five gallon jugs of water to keep us going for days. Possibly months. And she makes absolutely certain that our MotoMaster Eliminator “power pack with inverter” is fully charged. If the power goes out, there must be a working outlet for the coffee maker.
When the first flurry of snow falls from the sky in late November, she heads to the trunk of the car. Along with a bag or two of sand and a small shovel, she puts together the emergency kit consisting of extra clothes, the aforementioned candles, matches, some dried fruit and granola bars … and one of the five gallon jugs of water.
But despite mankind’s best efforts to be ready for anything and everything, some things you just can’t prepare for. Like getting locked in a hotel bathroom.
Hotel bathrooms have come a long way over the years. Most modern complexes have bathrooms that are more like spas. Most, but not all.
On a recent trip to Prince Edward Island, we stayed at a venerable old hotel. How old, you say? As far as I can tell, the Fathers of Confederation probably stayed there during their deliberations on the creation of Canada. The hotel was quaint and charming and the staff could not have been more pleasant.
We were on “The Island” for a getaway weekend. We even managed to have an old fashioned date night consisting of a movie and dinner. The last time we recall doing this was in June of 1982 when we saw the movie “E.T., The Extra Terrestrial” followed by a home cooked meal at the Armview in Halifax. This was before the arrival of children. Actually, come to think of it, that was the last movie we went to together until our recent tryst.
Betty was in the bathroom dolling herself up while I plodded away at the New York Times crossword puzzle. My train of thought was interrupted by a clunking sound. I peered off in the direction of the bathroom and saw the door knob sitting on the floor. Its counterpart on the other side of the door had met a similar fate.
I initially ignored the muffled voice in the bathroom as I pondered the clue for 5 down. However, I soon realized that there was a damsel in distress. An evil grin crossed my face as I thought about the endless possibilities. Maybe I would go for a stroll down Queen Street and treat myself to a Cow’s ice cream. I was quickly jolted back to reality as my bride’s demands escalated. Between the two of us, me pushing from one side and her pushing from the other side, we were able to get the mechanism to work.
We both had a good chuckle and began to wonder what would have happened if I was out for a game of golf and the “do not disturb” reminder was hanging from the door knob to our room. What would she have done to while away the hours?
Henceforth, we will carry an emergency kit and take it with us when we frequent older hotels. It will be comprised of an iPad, a smart phone, a small automatic coffee maker and a few small pouches of coffee, along with a Maeve Binchey novel.
Throw in an old claw foot tub and she may never come out.
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